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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

In the name of sanity.

Yes...am back...in the name of sanity :). And like a politician looking at all the empty seats in a hall where he is due to give his comeback speech,the author looks out at her readers with a benign smile and asks "So how have you all been?".So why the sudden so called comeback?Truly,in the name of sanity.Amidst aching knees,a crazy job and even crazier people you are forced to work with,I really need something to keep myself from losing my head.The part trouble with writing online is that your thoughts are rather open to public.Well,I guess thats sort of the point of blogs,isnt it?To air your views to anyone who would bother to read.Well..coming back to the crazy job...sigh...shall I admit it?I think my heart is no longer in it.It maybe a result of all those achy joints.But more than the crazy job,I think its the crazy colleagues.:( Am just sort of tired of second guessing people and their actions.I know some wise old soul said do your job and do it well and leave the rest to God.But in this field,and mind you,God,am not doubting your supreme powers for an instant here,but in this field,its all about politics.Sadly,thats how this field has become.:( And am sure I would be pretty good at office politics but I dont want to go there.Frankly,I prefer being slightly less chummy with my superior but having the sun come in through the window of my soul to being chaddi buddies with my manager and having complete darkness at that aforesaid window.
Sigh...I dont know if am being paranoid but there is this creepy feeling of people trying to get one up on me at workplace.Lets make that one person.I wish I could shake off that feeling.I dont like it.And honestly,thats a major reason why am wondering about this job.So quit it?:) Easier said than done....There are always so many what-ifs which come along with that little statement.What-if its a mistake?Every time I come close to actually doing it,something keeps me back and says "lets give it one more try".And yes,there is also this guilt about so many people who dont have jobs and my throwing away a blessing.I know, I know...am " thinking too much".But how exactly do you make a decision without thinking?I have prayed over it and am waiting for God to show me a sign as to what he wants me to do.Meanwhile,why do I have this sneaking suspicion that while I wait,life is passing me by?
Anyway,have lots more to write but right now,job calling :).Have a nice one,folks!