He he he…L.A. just had an earthquake measuring 5.6 on the Richter scale.We were at office abt 40 miles away from the epicenter.It was exciting though am not sure I want anything bigger and like tons of folks who are tapping away at the keyboard abt it ,am another jobless nut who is busy tapping away.In fact nothing happened except that we all got a bit rattled.It felt like a giant was shaking the entire building and all folks inside along with it. At home a friend reported that her flower vase came crashing down .One more reason why u shudnt keep flower vases around apart from the fact that they collect dust like crazy…All in all I can say that the earthquake only served to add one more thing to the list of worries my parents already have..(Anyone got any ideas on how to keep them from receiving any kinda news abt earthquakes in L.A.?)My lil bro has just started his career and there are a bunch of madcaps out there in India wandering about and for the lack of having anything better to do,started blowing up places. Needless to say,I have been worried for both my parents and my bro.And I was seriously thinking of bringing them to the states to keep them safe…and then God sends me an earthquake. Another reminder of him being the Almighty, and above mundane things like earthquakes and explosive toting lunatics. What was I thinking of?
At office, everyone stood up and grinned goofily at each other. (and I thought I was the only nutcase around.) A bunch of females provided the drama needed with a lot of squealing. Our fire warden wandered about telling people to get under their table if something falls from the ceiling. Call me dumb but I fail to see the point of getting under the table after u get conked on the head.Isnt it better to get underneath the table before it happens?Chuckle.But again that’s my not-so-humble opinion. And no, we did not all scamper outside as we are supposed to do. And don’t ask me why. It seemed safer to get under our desks…Besides it lasted for something like 3 secs.
All fone lines were down including the mobile fones.And then a bunch of gloomy pessimists started on abt how earthquakes are gonna be the trend (trend?like oversized glasses are the trend?)and how L.A is doomed. I tried to read up a bit on LA earthquakes and when the next one is predicted and I had to stop cos some of the things I read were really hilarious. One person suggested that when an earthquake is imminent, the water in wells will rise. What do they suggest? That we sit on the edge of a well with our laptops? Please!!!Another lady complained that she had been feeling constant tremors in her high rise apartment and that they were annoying….How inconsiderate of the quake….
I guess towards the epicenter ,it was a bit more stronger with things falling off but we had things falling off here too..But there has been no casualties so far…So please, don’t quake with fear…and like my macho hubby put it "hehe..I have seen bigger ones...and quite a few of em. "...huh...u didnt think a tiny quake cud scare him,did ya?Sigh!My hero.( Author smiling fondly and fluttering her lashes)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
A sequel to the 2-minute judge.
A funny looking pig I made for the hubby.The 2-minute judge’s latest remark is abt how he hates his Onsite coordinator for 2 reasons, one, that she is a woman (what a jerk!); two, she is younger to him and yet in a higher position of authority. I dunno if this guy even knows a thing abt the company hierarchy. People at Onsite are no higher in terms of authority than folks at offshore. We are merely Onsite counterparts of the offshore team. It’s a different matter that we assign work since we are directly dealing with the client and wud take the heat if something went wrong.Please! Give me a break…As much as I am tempted to put up the below post on our company blog,I have decided its not worth the trouble it wud cause my friends and neither is the loser worth it. For one, he does not read blogs, and even if he does, I don’t think he is going to have a life changing moment of awareness and change his opinions. He might be a tad abashed but being the unreasonable man he has proved himself to be, he is only going to blame the people involved. Thinking in terms of the rewards and losses, as my hubby rightly put it, neither is a company big shot going to take any action without investigating the people involved and I wud have to reveal my sources which am most definitely not willing to.
There are many men out there who carry this kind of women-are-dung attitude with pride but I can’t blame them cos it has to have come from their upbringing. No man who has been properly brought up can ever be so prejudiced against women and make such outrageous statements. But even as my thoughts dwell on such scum, I cannot help but remember all those decent men who are very courteous, kind, sensible and man enuf to treat a woman as an equal. To all the women out there, please don’t make a sweeping statement about how all men are the same. They are not. Do not judge the entire gender based upon the unfair views of one silly little man or a few dumb men who don’t know any better. They are not worth our time. I keep calling the judge little man cos that’s how small he is. So what do we do abt such people? Well, personally, I believe that such men are busy puffing themselves up and tying to get some attention with their grand statements. Zoë’s first instinct was to smack the man right across his silly face and so was mine. But I believe that it wud hit the mark more if we refused to take him seriously and behaved as though his statements were the funniest thing we ever heard. What cud annoy a man more when he embarks on a lecture on what he considers a disgrace to the society and the people around him laugh their heads off? So if someone makes such a statement, instead of retorting, look at him with all the expressions that cud cross ur face when u meet a total weirdo. It helps if u practice in front of a mirror (and u are not allowed to practice with me in mind.No! Absolutely not!).
Or you can pretend that he just farted, sniff suspiciously a couple of times, and give him an incredulous disgusted look and hurry away. That shud atleast serve in keeping the guy occupied with worrying abt whether he stinks.:-)See…lots of surefire remedies. Besides life is too short. Why waste time on such bozos?
Finally, lets all put up our paws and cloven hooves (as only cows, cats and pigs can) and pray that we never have the misfortune of working with people like the Judge.
There are many men out there who carry this kind of women-are-dung attitude with pride but I can’t blame them cos it has to have come from their upbringing. No man who has been properly brought up can ever be so prejudiced against women and make such outrageous statements. But even as my thoughts dwell on such scum, I cannot help but remember all those decent men who are very courteous, kind, sensible and man enuf to treat a woman as an equal. To all the women out there, please don’t make a sweeping statement about how all men are the same. They are not. Do not judge the entire gender based upon the unfair views of one silly little man or a few dumb men who don’t know any better. They are not worth our time. I keep calling the judge little man cos that’s how small he is. So what do we do abt such people? Well, personally, I believe that such men are busy puffing themselves up and tying to get some attention with their grand statements. Zoë’s first instinct was to smack the man right across his silly face and so was mine. But I believe that it wud hit the mark more if we refused to take him seriously and behaved as though his statements were the funniest thing we ever heard. What cud annoy a man more when he embarks on a lecture on what he considers a disgrace to the society and the people around him laugh their heads off? So if someone makes such a statement, instead of retorting, look at him with all the expressions that cud cross ur face when u meet a total weirdo. It helps if u practice in front of a mirror (and u are not allowed to practice with me in mind.No! Absolutely not!).
Or you can pretend that he just farted, sniff suspiciously a couple of times, and give him an incredulous disgusted look and hurry away. That shud atleast serve in keeping the guy occupied with worrying abt whether he stinks.:-)See…lots of surefire remedies. Besides life is too short. Why waste time on such bozos?
Finally, lets all put up our paws and cloven hooves (as only cows, cats and pigs can) and pray that we never have the misfortune of working with people like the Judge.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
A “2-minute Judge” and a bunch of baloney.
Very rarely am I inclined to write on any serious subjects. Normally I like to write abt whatever goes through my mind, crazy or otherwise. Recently I was so amazed by an incident at one of our offices in India that I have to write about it .It all started with an obnoxious funny little man and a close friend of mine at one of our company offices. My friend is very popular, outspoken, possesses excellent communication skills and is blessed with a crazy sense of humour which has everyone around falling in love with her. Coming back to the dear (ugh!)man who has unknowingly offended my sensibilities, the “2 minute judge” (based on his claim that he can judge the character of a person within 2 min of setting his eyes on them.Really! Wow!Aren't we a genius!) is the lead of a project and my friend’s friend is working on his team.
My friend, lets call her Zoë, went to meet her friend, Jane, for a cup of coffee. Jane was not in her seat and before leaving Zoe stopped to talk to another friend of her’s, Bobby, who is on the same team,. Zoë teased Bobby as friends are bound to and the entire conversation was in English. This apparently offended our “2 minute judge” and when Jane returned to her seat, she was subjected to a long lecture on the follies of Zoe and here is the Judge’s final ruling on Zoë’s crimes. Guilty on the below counts
1) The judge has spent 4 years at Onsite and yet speaks Tamil at office. Zoë apparently has committed the crime of conversing in English which according to the judge she has no reason to.
2) My friend, inspite of being a girl, walks tall and speaks loud and clear. According to the judge, this is unprofessional and women should walk with their heads bowed, rarely open their mouths and should be seen and not heard..
3) Women should not speak in front of 4 men. Women should not tease their friends, male or female. .Otherwise they will not have career growth. Managers do not like women who talk cos managers want people who don’t talk.
Ha ha ha!!! How funny!!!(Author has tears streaming down her face) Priceless! You are such a funny little man!
Wait a minute,the 2 minute judge was absolutely serious abt all this and even accused Jane of not trying to restrict Zoe’s exuberance.The fact that Jane has known Zoe for 5 years is irrelevant in the face of the 2 minute Judge’s expertise at reading characters like slogans on the wall.
I still am flabbergasted as I write this post. For the life of me I cannot believe that here is a man who acts as a team lead, whose wife works in the same company and he actually had the temerity to say such things standing in a corporate office?Pray,tell me, are we allowed to speak in front of 5 men? Or is the number purely restricted to 4? How abt speaking in front of women? Are we allowed to do that, irrespective of the count? In fact why don’t we start recruiting some cows and cats and pigs? After all, am sure they will definitely keep their mouths shut in front of 4 men. Can’t go after birds, can we, since they keep chirping all the time. Very unprofessional creatures!(Author shaking her head sagely)
And I suppose u are aware that we are a global corporate and not limited to a stuffy office in a side street of T.Nagar.That means that there are people across the globe who work for this company and very sadly,I remind you that not all of them can speak Tamil and as professionals, we are expected to communicate in a language that people from different parts of the country can follow. I have absolutely nothing against Tamil and speak the language fluently myself. But do tell me, precisely how did u communicate with the client when u were at Onsite? In Tamil?......“Tambi, yenna solrae? Business requirement Okva?”…..Thunk!!! And there faints the client.
And as for managers liking women who keep their mouths glued shut, ROFL!!!My husband just fell off his chair laughing. I can just imagine a manager interviewing me get mighty impressed as I sit there dumbly with my head bowed ,twirling the end of my duppatta,while he throws question after question at me.Wow!!He is gonna beg me to join his company.
Me : Dumbly shaking my head with my head bowed and my neck permanently bent.
Manager : ”Please , Anu,please.We need more dumb people like you in our company…um-uh..and I mean that literally”
Huh!!More likely he will throw his shoe at me, pull at his hair in frustration and cry, “Speak, woman, For God’s sake, speak!”.And show me one manager, dude, who has a problem with a smart professional woman and I will show u a company that is going to the dogs. It simply did not occur to u that there are a number of managers in our company who happen to be women,did it?
Being a woman, albeit not a feminist, this incident had me outraged to the point of starting to write a scathing post. But then as I began the post, I cooled down enuf to see the funny side of it. Make no mistake abt this. I have nothing against men and I have worked with several awesome men and admire them. But I do object to such obnoxious men. Worse, I pity them for their caveman attitude even when they work in a software company. Call urself a professional, do ya? And u have the cheek to say a woman who talks well is unprofessional. Piffle! and balderdash! U belong farther back than the age of cavemen…You have to have come from the age of the dinos.
And the funniest part of the whole story? The 2-minute noodles…umm…I mean, the 2 minute Judge had a love marriage .Huh? Don’t ask me what his wife was thinking!!
My friend, lets call her Zoë, went to meet her friend, Jane, for a cup of coffee. Jane was not in her seat and before leaving Zoe stopped to talk to another friend of her’s, Bobby, who is on the same team,. Zoë teased Bobby as friends are bound to and the entire conversation was in English. This apparently offended our “2 minute judge” and when Jane returned to her seat, she was subjected to a long lecture on the follies of Zoe and here is the Judge’s final ruling on Zoë’s crimes. Guilty on the below counts
1) The judge has spent 4 years at Onsite and yet speaks Tamil at office. Zoë apparently has committed the crime of conversing in English which according to the judge she has no reason to.
2) My friend, inspite of being a girl, walks tall and speaks loud and clear. According to the judge, this is unprofessional and women should walk with their heads bowed, rarely open their mouths and should be seen and not heard..
3) Women should not speak in front of 4 men. Women should not tease their friends, male or female. .Otherwise they will not have career growth. Managers do not like women who talk cos managers want people who don’t talk.
Ha ha ha!!! How funny!!!(Author has tears streaming down her face) Priceless! You are such a funny little man!
Wait a minute,the 2 minute judge was absolutely serious abt all this and even accused Jane of not trying to restrict Zoe’s exuberance.The fact that Jane has known Zoe for 5 years is irrelevant in the face of the 2 minute Judge’s expertise at reading characters like slogans on the wall.
I still am flabbergasted as I write this post. For the life of me I cannot believe that here is a man who acts as a team lead, whose wife works in the same company and he actually had the temerity to say such things standing in a corporate office?Pray,tell me, are we allowed to speak in front of 5 men? Or is the number purely restricted to 4? How abt speaking in front of women? Are we allowed to do that, irrespective of the count? In fact why don’t we start recruiting some cows and cats and pigs? After all, am sure they will definitely keep their mouths shut in front of 4 men. Can’t go after birds, can we, since they keep chirping all the time. Very unprofessional creatures!(Author shaking her head sagely)
And I suppose u are aware that we are a global corporate and not limited to a stuffy office in a side street of T.Nagar.That means that there are people across the globe who work for this company and very sadly,I remind you that not all of them can speak Tamil and as professionals, we are expected to communicate in a language that people from different parts of the country can follow. I have absolutely nothing against Tamil and speak the language fluently myself. But do tell me, precisely how did u communicate with the client when u were at Onsite? In Tamil?......“Tambi, yenna solrae? Business requirement Okva?”…..Thunk!!! And there faints the client.
And as for managers liking women who keep their mouths glued shut, ROFL!!!My husband just fell off his chair laughing. I can just imagine a manager interviewing me get mighty impressed as I sit there dumbly with my head bowed ,twirling the end of my duppatta,while he throws question after question at me.Wow!!He is gonna beg me to join his company.
Me : Dumbly shaking my head with my head bowed and my neck permanently bent.
Manager : ”Please , Anu,please.We need more dumb people like you in our company…um-uh..and I mean that literally”
Huh!!More likely he will throw his shoe at me, pull at his hair in frustration and cry, “Speak, woman, For God’s sake, speak!”.And show me one manager, dude, who has a problem with a smart professional woman and I will show u a company that is going to the dogs. It simply did not occur to u that there are a number of managers in our company who happen to be women,did it?
Being a woman, albeit not a feminist, this incident had me outraged to the point of starting to write a scathing post. But then as I began the post, I cooled down enuf to see the funny side of it. Make no mistake abt this. I have nothing against men and I have worked with several awesome men and admire them. But I do object to such obnoxious men. Worse, I pity them for their caveman attitude even when they work in a software company. Call urself a professional, do ya? And u have the cheek to say a woman who talks well is unprofessional. Piffle! and balderdash! U belong farther back than the age of cavemen…You have to have come from the age of the dinos.
And the funniest part of the whole story? The 2-minute noodles…umm…I mean, the 2 minute Judge had a love marriage .Huh? Don’t ask me what his wife was thinking!!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Ramble on,darlings!!!
Bingo!!…It’s a gorgeous day, ladies and gentlemen…Not just a beautiful day. What’s the difference u may ask. Let me tell u .A beautiful day is one which makes u sigh and look around and say “Mmmmmm”…a gorgeous day makes u want to clap, jump for joy and do cartwheels on the lawn…lie down in the grass and kick ur legs in the air,twirl on the foothpath,blow a kiss at the sky and in general,make a fool of urself…which really is not such a bad thing…It’s a day with oomph!! The kind of day which makes u want to dance like baloo the bear in Jungle book singing “Doobi doobi doobi”,even with ur 2 left feet and tail,make a lot of noise and try to stop urself grinning from ear to ear….chuckle…by now most of u wud have written me off as bonkers….
Anup already has.Lol!
Its the perfect time to be in LA.There is this road behind our office bordered with lilac trees.You find urself driving down a tunnel of lilacs.Not one spec of green.U look up and see a roof of lilacs above u.You look down and the road is sprinkled with lilacs.Oh, the folks who live on that lane,it must just make their day to walk on that lilac carpet under the lilac canopy.Anup says they wud be bored of seeing it every day.Huh!!Bored? Its breathtakingly beautiful.How in God’s name can u be bored of that?Its just unspeakably delightful.Had it been me stepping out of one of those houses, I wud have stood at my doorstep and stared for a full ten minutes around me before I trot off to office, rather regretfully ,am sure.Its just beautiful.I must take a picture of it before the lilacs fade.
Today when we stepped out for lunch,I just happened to look up and was surprised to see the alphabets WELCO in the sky written with what looked like clouds.Then it hit.It was one of those planes which did some kind of writing with smoke in the sky,Pretty expensive , but its used in a lot of advertising.But as u can guess,I just had to stand and gawp at it.And so did my poor hubbu,though the truth be told, he really had no choice cos I was not budging.
It turned out to be the message “WELCOME HOME TORI & DEAN”.I imagine it was done by some of their friends…2 hrs later when I sat in my cubicle and looked out of the window,I saw the words float outside like some kind of banner.They moved across my window ,as though flashing on the TV screen.I have these huge glass windows which look up into the sky .They normally have it covered with Venetian blinds,but last week when my boss was on vacation, I opened up a couple of them and he still has not noticed.Can u believe the man?It almost makes u feel u are outside in the open and not stuck in a stuffy room and the man does not notice.?I do feel sorry for him.From my seat, I can see a tall fir tree ,the tops of a few palms waving in the wind and a lilac tree along with them.They look so free,like kids during their summer vacation, like kites in the air.
Have started a new hobby. Crocheting… and it turned out to be much easier than I thought..Oh yeah,I bought a beginners kit and some bright coloured wool called Tangerine twists..I love the name…and I love how the scarf is turning out even though its edges are pretty wonky…Am just not in a mood to sit in office..I wud love to get out there,grab my crochet kit and sit outside under a nice tree and enjoy myself..Oh,dear..why can’t we have summer holidays too…
Anup already has.Lol!
Its the perfect time to be in LA.There is this road behind our office bordered with lilac trees.You find urself driving down a tunnel of lilacs.Not one spec of green.U look up and see a roof of lilacs above u.You look down and the road is sprinkled with lilacs.Oh, the folks who live on that lane,it must just make their day to walk on that lilac carpet under the lilac canopy.Anup says they wud be bored of seeing it every day.Huh!!Bored? Its breathtakingly beautiful.How in God’s name can u be bored of that?Its just unspeakably delightful.Had it been me stepping out of one of those houses, I wud have stood at my doorstep and stared for a full ten minutes around me before I trot off to office, rather regretfully ,am sure.Its just beautiful.I must take a picture of it before the lilacs fade.
Today when we stepped out for lunch,I just happened to look up and was surprised to see the alphabets WELCO in the sky written with what looked like clouds.Then it hit.It was one of those planes which did some kind of writing with smoke in the sky,Pretty expensive , but its used in a lot of advertising.But as u can guess,I just had to stand and gawp at it.And so did my poor hubbu,though the truth be told, he really had no choice cos I was not budging.
It turned out to be the message “WELCOME HOME TORI & DEAN”.I imagine it was done by some of their friends…2 hrs later when I sat in my cubicle and looked out of the window,I saw the words float outside like some kind of banner.They moved across my window ,as though flashing on the TV screen.I have these huge glass windows which look up into the sky .They normally have it covered with Venetian blinds,but last week when my boss was on vacation, I opened up a couple of them and he still has not noticed.Can u believe the man?It almost makes u feel u are outside in the open and not stuck in a stuffy room and the man does not notice.?I do feel sorry for him.From my seat, I can see a tall fir tree ,the tops of a few palms waving in the wind and a lilac tree along with them.They look so free,like kids during their summer vacation, like kites in the air.
Have started a new hobby. Crocheting… and it turned out to be much easier than I thought..Oh yeah,I bought a beginners kit and some bright coloured wool called Tangerine twists..I love the name…and I love how the scarf is turning out even though its edges are pretty wonky…Am just not in a mood to sit in office..I wud love to get out there,grab my crochet kit and sit outside under a nice tree and enjoy myself..Oh,dear..why can’t we have summer holidays too…
Thursday, July 17, 2008
A grumpy me and a soul searching “epidose”.
Last night in the midst of washing dishes, I watched some program on the telly which claimed that if u are happy u can make more money…Now I don’t believe that money makes u happy but I do think its nice to have a lil money so that u don’t have to worry abt ur next meal and can buy an occasional gift for ur loved ones. Now according to the telly,if u are happy ,then u are more pleasant and more cheerful…Well, I guess what they meant is that u have a more attractive personality and then more people like u which is directly related to ur success…and the way to be happy ? Well, they say u do what makes u happy…..as long as u feel healthy and happy ,ur success is assured…and one of the things they said that stuck in my head is this – Don’t overthink.Guilty as charged. In fact I think all women do tend to over think…it’s a common complaint that we have ,as wives,moms,sisters,about the thoughtlessness of the men in our lives.(Though as a sister, I wud say ,hands down, that my bro is the most thoughtful boy I have met in my life. Absolutely!)
But in a way it’s their thoughtlessness, or rather their tendency to not think that keeps them less stressed out ….. And also gets them into more scrapes than women.
On the other hand, maybe if we women tried to worry less, we wud really have less number of wrinkles and not have to worry abt how expensive Olay wrinkle control cream is ( and No, I don’t use it.).As they say, angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.
I had been genuinely happy for the last 2 weeks and for the last 2 days, I have been at my grumpiest best.
For the last 2-3 weeks, I finally managed to forget that the 2nd guy who sits next to me, does not speak to me for reasons best known to him…Earlier, I wud have asked him why. but recently I decided that I had enuf of him…He ,for some reason, is forever bad-tempered except for the few times when he becomes cheerful and then its as refreshing as raindrops in the grass. Maybe he has his own reasons.But there is only so much u can take from anyone no matter how senior they are in rank to u….So finally I gave up…I talk to him and he does not even deign to turn his pumpkin head…not that it bothers me…It takes off any obligation I felt to ask him what happened and invariably the answer was abt how his worth was not being recognized in this project…well, that’s what everyone feels here but no point in wailing abt it since no one is gonna hear u….So all u can do is make the best of it and do what u like. Make no mistake abt it…I love my job though I may not love my current project…till last year every extra effort I put in was as a building block to the final goal of my year end appraisal…but something changed after last year’s appraisal went haywire...and I started spending less time obsessing abt everything I did at work and its consequences on my appraisal…..to me as long as am busy and I have a satisfied feeling at the end of the day, am successful…and once I took on that attitude, all of a sudden life seemed better….it hardly mattered that the second guy is “speechless” with me and may make a mess of my appraisal..well,if he does, more power to him…at least lets hope he enjoys doing it…cos as far as I was concerned I had let go…and I still gave 100 percent to my job…and hurried home to my crafts.
And then in the last 2 days, something happened that worried me so much that I nearly went over the edge….and then I learnt that as easy as some people find it to forgive someone, forgetting the mistake is even tuffer….or nearly impossible….even when we manage to suppress memories from ages ago, we never really forget them…and each time they rise up, they bring with them the resentment associated with the memory…..
None of us are perfect …Or as God’s creations we are all perfect in way that we don’t realize…We all make mistakes .To err is human but to forgive is divine.... Forgiveness is not a privilege to give and take away as u please…it’s a gift of love…an act of kindness which probably means more to the receiver than we will ever know… Forgiveness does not mean that when everything is hunky dory we are nice to that person and the moment we have an argument, Wham! we bring up old mistakes up as ammunition. There is nothing more painful than having a mistake from years ago thrown in the face at every chance….and its unfair…and most of the time, its done to a loved one. Why? Cos they will put up with it? Cos they don’t have a choice? Cos we may mean everything in the world to them and they can’t leave us even when we deal them low blows?
Forgiveness does not necessarily mean to forget but it does mean letting go…If we cant do that then we may as well not forgive…For all we know, the other person wud find it easier to live with the knowledge of us not having forgiven them than having us hit them one below the belt out of the…You might think they deserve it but its not for u to judge ,unless u can ,in complete honesty, say that u have never made a mistake….(in which case,please,here is the pedestal. Do climb up and make urself at home!)The only defense the other person will have is to pull out past mistakes that we made…even when they don’t want to…and with all that mudslinging going on, the only thing achieved is destroying a beautiful relationship. But pushed into a corner, it’s the human nature to flee or fight…and when u love someone ,no matter what they hurl at u,u cant flee…where wud u go? Away from them? Keep trying…and if u manage to do it, then do let me in on the secret.…Just cos someone does not love us the way we want them to, does not mean that they don’t love us with all they have…they do…and we have to realize it AND remember it…Just cos 2 people don’t argue, does not mean that they love each other…Just cos 2 people argue, it does not mean that that they don’t love each other. Everyone is vulnerable.
Each day is a new one…There is no point dwelling on the past…Life is too short... Kindness, forgiveness, love…these are all gifts that God gave us to see what we wud do with them.As the poem the Prayer goes…
When the stinging ant turned your tender skin red,
And you did not squash it dead---
When you set that unfortunate fly free,
Struggling in your cup of morning tea...
When you patted a stray dog's head
When he was lonely, his honest eyes said...
When you let that baby mouse secretly eat,
The remaining half of your favourite sweetmeat.
When with your first morsel you feed,
The tiny bird in search of seed---
When the struggling sprouting, you planted firm,
Your spade prevented from cutting that wriggling worm.
When somebody's mother, you helped the highway cross,
When your eye watered at an unknown's loss---
The silent wish for his welfare made,
One, who for you, hurdles laid.
The precious minute spent beside,
An ailing soul's bedside---
The special second stood by,
One departing, silently saying a last good-bye.
More holy than the verses you utter,
Than all the beads you recite, far better---
In little things lies the biggest Test.
If you can stand that, you Pray the best!!!
Sometimes when I write, I write simply to sort things out in my head and to get my perspective back…Coming back to the telly show, they also suggested practicing a kind act a day and remembering, at the end of each day, 3 things that made you smile during the day. Well, the day is just half done and yet I can remember at least 2 things that made grumpy me smile today…On a closing note…here is another favorite poem of mine which I guess describes a kind act….
Is anybody happier
Because YOU passed this way?
Does anyone remember
That YOU spoke to them today?
The day is almost over,
And its toiling time is through,
Is there anyone to utter
Now a kindly word of YOU?
Can YOU say tonight in parting
With the day that's slipping fast...
That YOU helped a single person
Of the many that you passed?
Is a single heart rejoicing
Over what YOU did or said?
Does the one whose hopes were fading
Now with courage look ahead?
Did YOU waste the day or use it?
Was it well or sorely spent?
Did YOU leave a trail of kindness,
Or a scar of discontent?
As YOU close your eyes in slumber,
Do you think that God will say...
"There is my most loved child”
By what you did today?
And that ,I guess, would describe success.Sometimes,God does like to throw a spanner in the works for nothing else if not to make us stop,take stock and get our perspective on whats important back.
But in a way it’s their thoughtlessness, or rather their tendency to not think that keeps them less stressed out ….. And also gets them into more scrapes than women.
On the other hand, maybe if we women tried to worry less, we wud really have less number of wrinkles and not have to worry abt how expensive Olay wrinkle control cream is ( and No, I don’t use it.).As they say, angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.
I had been genuinely happy for the last 2 weeks and for the last 2 days, I have been at my grumpiest best.
For the last 2-3 weeks, I finally managed to forget that the 2nd guy who sits next to me, does not speak to me for reasons best known to him…Earlier, I wud have asked him why. but recently I decided that I had enuf of him…He ,for some reason, is forever bad-tempered except for the few times when he becomes cheerful and then its as refreshing as raindrops in the grass. Maybe he has his own reasons.But there is only so much u can take from anyone no matter how senior they are in rank to u….So finally I gave up…I talk to him and he does not even deign to turn his pumpkin head…not that it bothers me…It takes off any obligation I felt to ask him what happened and invariably the answer was abt how his worth was not being recognized in this project…well, that’s what everyone feels here but no point in wailing abt it since no one is gonna hear u….So all u can do is make the best of it and do what u like. Make no mistake abt it…I love my job though I may not love my current project…till last year every extra effort I put in was as a building block to the final goal of my year end appraisal…but something changed after last year’s appraisal went haywire...and I started spending less time obsessing abt everything I did at work and its consequences on my appraisal…..to me as long as am busy and I have a satisfied feeling at the end of the day, am successful…and once I took on that attitude, all of a sudden life seemed better….it hardly mattered that the second guy is “speechless” with me and may make a mess of my appraisal..well,if he does, more power to him…at least lets hope he enjoys doing it…cos as far as I was concerned I had let go…and I still gave 100 percent to my job…and hurried home to my crafts.
And then in the last 2 days, something happened that worried me so much that I nearly went over the edge….and then I learnt that as easy as some people find it to forgive someone, forgetting the mistake is even tuffer….or nearly impossible….even when we manage to suppress memories from ages ago, we never really forget them…and each time they rise up, they bring with them the resentment associated with the memory…..
None of us are perfect …Or as God’s creations we are all perfect in way that we don’t realize…We all make mistakes .To err is human but to forgive is divine.... Forgiveness is not a privilege to give and take away as u please…it’s a gift of love…an act of kindness which probably means more to the receiver than we will ever know… Forgiveness does not mean that when everything is hunky dory we are nice to that person and the moment we have an argument, Wham! we bring up old mistakes up as ammunition. There is nothing more painful than having a mistake from years ago thrown in the face at every chance….and its unfair…and most of the time, its done to a loved one. Why? Cos they will put up with it? Cos they don’t have a choice? Cos we may mean everything in the world to them and they can’t leave us even when we deal them low blows?
Forgiveness does not necessarily mean to forget but it does mean letting go…If we cant do that then we may as well not forgive…For all we know, the other person wud find it easier to live with the knowledge of us not having forgiven them than having us hit them one below the belt out of the…You might think they deserve it but its not for u to judge ,unless u can ,in complete honesty, say that u have never made a mistake….(in which case,please,here is the pedestal. Do climb up and make urself at home!)The only defense the other person will have is to pull out past mistakes that we made…even when they don’t want to…and with all that mudslinging going on, the only thing achieved is destroying a beautiful relationship. But pushed into a corner, it’s the human nature to flee or fight…and when u love someone ,no matter what they hurl at u,u cant flee…where wud u go? Away from them? Keep trying…and if u manage to do it, then do let me in on the secret.…Just cos someone does not love us the way we want them to, does not mean that they don’t love us with all they have…they do…and we have to realize it AND remember it…Just cos 2 people don’t argue, does not mean that they love each other…Just cos 2 people argue, it does not mean that that they don’t love each other. Everyone is vulnerable.
Each day is a new one…There is no point dwelling on the past…Life is too short... Kindness, forgiveness, love…these are all gifts that God gave us to see what we wud do with them.As the poem the Prayer goes…
When the stinging ant turned your tender skin red,
And you did not squash it dead---
When you set that unfortunate fly free,
Struggling in your cup of morning tea...
When you patted a stray dog's head
When he was lonely, his honest eyes said...
When you let that baby mouse secretly eat,
The remaining half of your favourite sweetmeat.
When with your first morsel you feed,
The tiny bird in search of seed---
When the struggling sprouting, you planted firm,
Your spade prevented from cutting that wriggling worm.
When somebody's mother, you helped the highway cross,
When your eye watered at an unknown's loss---
The silent wish for his welfare made,
One, who for you, hurdles laid.
The precious minute spent beside,
An ailing soul's bedside---
The special second stood by,
One departing, silently saying a last good-bye.
More holy than the verses you utter,
Than all the beads you recite, far better---
In little things lies the biggest Test.
If you can stand that, you Pray the best!!!
Sometimes when I write, I write simply to sort things out in my head and to get my perspective back…Coming back to the telly show, they also suggested practicing a kind act a day and remembering, at the end of each day, 3 things that made you smile during the day. Well, the day is just half done and yet I can remember at least 2 things that made grumpy me smile today…On a closing note…here is another favorite poem of mine which I guess describes a kind act….
Is anybody happier
Because YOU passed this way?
Does anyone remember
That YOU spoke to them today?
The day is almost over,
And its toiling time is through,
Is there anyone to utter
Now a kindly word of YOU?
Can YOU say tonight in parting
With the day that's slipping fast...
That YOU helped a single person
Of the many that you passed?
Is a single heart rejoicing
Over what YOU did or said?
Does the one whose hopes were fading
Now with courage look ahead?
Did YOU waste the day or use it?
Was it well or sorely spent?
Did YOU leave a trail of kindness,
Or a scar of discontent?
As YOU close your eyes in slumber,
Do you think that God will say...
"There is my most loved child”
By what you did today?
And that ,I guess, would describe success.Sometimes,God does like to throw a spanner in the works for nothing else if not to make us stop,take stock and get our perspective on whats important back.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Ships Ahoy!Fear Ahead!
To quote Anthony Price, being frightened is an experience you can't buy.U can be the skinniest undernourished person but fear makes u strong like no complan, horlicks or boost can ever hope to and am a living testament to the fact. I never realized my physical strength until I found myself capable of breaking free of 5-6 so-called-friends who grabbed both my arms and tried to drag me onto the “running steps” aka the escalator. They tried everything including jeering at me and pointing at tiny little kids and really old people who hopped on like it was a cakewalk. I simple shook my head and commented on irresponsible parents who let kids on those stairs. Even my parents and lil bro tried several times to get me on the stairs. Luckily it never occurred to any of them to push me from the back or I wud have been a goner.Spencers had a beautiful set of plain ordinary stairs and I still absolutely love them. They stuck right where they stood and so I cud visit the upper floors of the building.
I managed pretty well until there came a day when I visited the city center mall in chennai…Horrors!!!The only staircase available was the fire exit. I took those up to the 3rd floor. But the food court which they had set up very thoughtfully on the top floor had me knocked out. The only way to reach that floor was by the escalator. My friend, Nita, and I were starved but there was no way I wud get on that deadly thing. So we waited for the elevator which rarely came and when it did come the guy controlling it refused to open the doors for us. I mean,you wud really expect him to show some sympathy to two skinny girls trying to preserve their kilos.Nita was by then so hungry that she was prepared to go down on her knees in front of all those people if that wud get my miserable self on the stairs. It really did not help that 2 silly men stood at the top of stairs laughing at my plight. Really! And no number of menacing cold looks on my part dissuaded them from watching the free escalator-bumbling-bimbo show. After abt ten rides in which he repeatedly ignored the two women who started off trying to floor him with wannabe open-up-honey smiles and ended up frantically shaking their fists at him, the elevator guy wrote me off as a loser and opened the elevator doors. The sheer relief!!!That’s when Nita asked me how I planned on surviving in the States if I can’t ride the escalator.
Crumbs!
I looked at her in horror and decided I wud have to tell my manager that I really cant go to the US.I mean, I wud not even have my friends with me to push me onto it and what if I miss my flight cos I cant get on the escalator? And how on earth wud I manage with all that luggage? Cripes! Of all my phobias, the escalator-my appendages-go-ice-cold-phobia takes the prize for sticking on with me till I reached the ripe age of 25 years. I had moved on from the days when I wud be talking with my mom in the kitchen and louder the pressure cooker whistled, the closer I moved to the kitchen door until a split second before the full blown whistle when I wud bolt from the kitchen and end up in the living room. And once the whistle stopped, I‘d hurry back to the kitchen and continue our conversation. I had hated the things and when my mom asked me how I intended to boil potatoes, I told her I wud boil it the plain old way, no matter if 1/4th of my life was spent waiting for my potatoes to be done.After all,its the journey that matters and not the destination. As I grow older,though I still believe that the journey is more important, I have changed my mind abt devoting 1/4th of my life to boiling potatoes.I am a lot less patient with the potatoes and every time I see my cooker,I sing out "Bless u,cooker dear".(just kidding)It drives me nuts to see the hubbu boil potatoes the plain way instead of using the cooker.As for me, I have graduated to a point where I simply stand near a hot cooker and coolly hold up the weight with my bare hands to let out the steam from the cooker. Am I brave! Chuckle!
But at the Chennai airport having completed my immigration check, I stood petrified in front of an escalator, cursing the guy who invented the thing. Luckily for me, there was an elevator which lovingly took me up to the second floor. I thanked my lucky stars and praying that all the airports ahead would have an elevator along with the dreaded “moving stairs”.I survived until I reached Malaysia for the stopover and then, boy, was I in the deepest smelliest dung!
“One will never reach distant shores,
if he chooses to remain upon the dock,
In fear his little ship of dreams
may be dashed against the rocks.”
It was a choice between my fear and my dignity, my nation’s pride and as an Indian ambassador it was getting on the darned thing with élan or losing my “prestige shoes”. Someone once said that courage is not absence of fear. It is merely the understanding that something else is more important than fear. Well, you would not believe it and neither could I but ultimately it was my pride in being Indian that forced me to put my foot on the dangerous contraption and pretend I had not climbed a stair in my life. Whew! Every escalator I met on the way I handled with a firm grasp on my hand luggage, a prayer and a determination I did not know I possessed till then. I cud not wait for too long before putting my foot on the darn thing as this may draw the attention of other passengers to my sorry state. And I did not want to even think of my mortification if that happened. Like they say fear makes the bogeyman bigger than he is
After all I had overcome my fear of the pressure cooker, hadn’t I? Similarly once upon a time I had been scared of lighting gas stoves. I positively hated the pop sound it made. But that fear along with my fear of pressure cookers went away in my days of living alone in Cbe.Today, with stairs a scarcity in US and having had to fly several times ever since coming to LA, I can hop onto the escalator as elegantly as I walk on flat ground (Dont boo,mama.Not ladylike at all) but am still a bit careful and I still love the plain old stairs. Why? Cos though amateurs built the ark and professionals built the Titanic, it was the Titanic that sunk.
I managed pretty well until there came a day when I visited the city center mall in chennai…Horrors!!!The only staircase available was the fire exit. I took those up to the 3rd floor. But the food court which they had set up very thoughtfully on the top floor had me knocked out. The only way to reach that floor was by the escalator. My friend, Nita, and I were starved but there was no way I wud get on that deadly thing. So we waited for the elevator which rarely came and when it did come the guy controlling it refused to open the doors for us. I mean,you wud really expect him to show some sympathy to two skinny girls trying to preserve their kilos.Nita was by then so hungry that she was prepared to go down on her knees in front of all those people if that wud get my miserable self on the stairs. It really did not help that 2 silly men stood at the top of stairs laughing at my plight. Really! And no number of menacing cold looks on my part dissuaded them from watching the free escalator-bumbling-bimbo show. After abt ten rides in which he repeatedly ignored the two women who started off trying to floor him with wannabe open-up-honey smiles and ended up frantically shaking their fists at him, the elevator guy wrote me off as a loser and opened the elevator doors. The sheer relief!!!That’s when Nita asked me how I planned on surviving in the States if I can’t ride the escalator.
Crumbs!
I looked at her in horror and decided I wud have to tell my manager that I really cant go to the US.I mean, I wud not even have my friends with me to push me onto it and what if I miss my flight cos I cant get on the escalator? And how on earth wud I manage with all that luggage? Cripes! Of all my phobias, the escalator-my appendages-go-ice-cold-phobia takes the prize for sticking on with me till I reached the ripe age of 25 years. I had moved on from the days when I wud be talking with my mom in the kitchen and louder the pressure cooker whistled, the closer I moved to the kitchen door until a split second before the full blown whistle when I wud bolt from the kitchen and end up in the living room. And once the whistle stopped, I‘d hurry back to the kitchen and continue our conversation. I had hated the things and when my mom asked me how I intended to boil potatoes, I told her I wud boil it the plain old way, no matter if 1/4th of my life was spent waiting for my potatoes to be done.After all,its the journey that matters and not the destination. As I grow older,though I still believe that the journey is more important, I have changed my mind abt devoting 1/4th of my life to boiling potatoes.I am a lot less patient with the potatoes and every time I see my cooker,I sing out "Bless u,cooker dear".(just kidding)It drives me nuts to see the hubbu boil potatoes the plain way instead of using the cooker.As for me, I have graduated to a point where I simply stand near a hot cooker and coolly hold up the weight with my bare hands to let out the steam from the cooker. Am I brave! Chuckle!
But at the Chennai airport having completed my immigration check, I stood petrified in front of an escalator, cursing the guy who invented the thing. Luckily for me, there was an elevator which lovingly took me up to the second floor. I thanked my lucky stars and praying that all the airports ahead would have an elevator along with the dreaded “moving stairs”.I survived until I reached Malaysia for the stopover and then, boy, was I in the deepest smelliest dung!
“One will never reach distant shores,
if he chooses to remain upon the dock,
In fear his little ship of dreams
may be dashed against the rocks.”
It was a choice between my fear and my dignity, my nation’s pride and as an Indian ambassador it was getting on the darned thing with élan or losing my “prestige shoes”. Someone once said that courage is not absence of fear. It is merely the understanding that something else is more important than fear. Well, you would not believe it and neither could I but ultimately it was my pride in being Indian that forced me to put my foot on the dangerous contraption and pretend I had not climbed a stair in my life. Whew! Every escalator I met on the way I handled with a firm grasp on my hand luggage, a prayer and a determination I did not know I possessed till then. I cud not wait for too long before putting my foot on the darn thing as this may draw the attention of other passengers to my sorry state. And I did not want to even think of my mortification if that happened. Like they say fear makes the bogeyman bigger than he is
After all I had overcome my fear of the pressure cooker, hadn’t I? Similarly once upon a time I had been scared of lighting gas stoves. I positively hated the pop sound it made. But that fear along with my fear of pressure cookers went away in my days of living alone in Cbe.Today, with stairs a scarcity in US and having had to fly several times ever since coming to LA, I can hop onto the escalator as elegantly as I walk on flat ground (Dont boo,mama.Not ladylike at all) but am still a bit careful and I still love the plain old stairs. Why? Cos though amateurs built the ark and professionals built the Titanic, it was the Titanic that sunk.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
A sleepy crosspatch writes...
Would you believe the cheek?My client finally put all of us in shifts on a weekly rotation basis.I am supposed to come in at 7 in the morn and leave at 4 in the evening this entire week.Second guy is supposed to come in at 10 in the morn and leave by 7 in the evening.I reached LA late last night and yet managed to come to office by 7 today morn.I was taken aback when I saw the second guy walk in at 9 in the morn and a dark suspicion started forming at the back of my mind which was confirmed when the dratted man ,even before logging on to his system, called up his carpool buddies and made plans to leave by 4:30 in the evening. Can u believe the man’s cheek? Who does he think is gonna do his work?If he thinks its me,then he has another think coming. The third guy is not coming in and so my client rang me up to say that he is coming in only by ten so that he cud cover the third guy’s shift..ha ha…so my client is gonna get stuck with 2 people’s work and am not planning to help out…Anyway, as annoyed as I am ,have decided that I will leave at sharp 4:00 p.m. and not stay a minute longer. I tried being charitable and imagining that the man may have his own problems which am not aware of. But what bugs me is that he does not seem to realize that other people have their lives too.
OK,I really don’t have much on my mind to post and am too sleepy to think up something proper.So its time for another rambling session in which u are subjected to a whole lot of insane but choice thoughts that go trippety trip in my head.
I painted my toes again last night. And to all of u who have got ur eyes popping out in shock,well, let me tell u that my toes are never unpainted these days,especially since I found out that painting them keeps them looking nice and feminine. My hubby has nice shapely feet and that’s an added incentive to keep my toes painted. In the days of unpainted toes, people who meet us together often had a confused expression when they looked at us from top to toe and back up again.
Though they were already painted, they had taken a bit of roughing up on the long weekend and really did not look as elegant as they shud have. So I took off the coral swirl or whatever that shade was called (it was nice deep orange with a hint of burnt sienna and gold in it) and scrubbed my toes and then wondered what shade to use. I was really not in a mood for pinks and the deep red needed me to be more careful than normal…and so I fished out this grape something something which essentially is a shade of pink and violet mixed with lots of glitter. The last time I tried it on my toes it did not look very effective and on my fingers it looked rather nice but just that it was a bit too thick and took some time to dry and even then it did not chip off so much as rub off and was very annoying…so I popped in couple of drops of the polish remover into the bottle and loosened it up nicely and then set down to paint my toes…Normally this polish takes a good 2 coats to apply evenly as compared to other shades which take one coat .So I don’t use this shade that often….but once I did a nice 3 coats one after the other on each foot(the paint was thinner and so did not take time to dey),voila…I loved it….I expected the usual shade and instead I have on a nice frosted pink nail polish with a hint of grape in it….Hopefully, by now I have u all screaming “Get on with it,will ya!!!”.Ok….I’ll get on with it…
My nose is healing nicely and does not bother me as much as it did…Our long weekend and the climate change brought on a terrible case of dryness and cracking on the inside of my nose. And the poor nosey wud bleed and feel extremely irritated at all times.
But since yday,its reduced and the cracks are not bleeding anymore.
Chuckle, u know what? Its so nice to know that u guys cant see me when u read this,cos am sure by now one of u wud have thrown a shoe at me. Am feeling terrible sleepy cos have been waking up before 6 and reaching office around 7 for the last 2 days.
I really can’t think of anything to write except that I have started a food diary and am keeping track of everything that passes in thru my lips except for water and the occasional fly. So adieu for now.
OK,I really don’t have much on my mind to post and am too sleepy to think up something proper.So its time for another rambling session in which u are subjected to a whole lot of insane but choice thoughts that go trippety trip in my head.
I painted my toes again last night. And to all of u who have got ur eyes popping out in shock,well, let me tell u that my toes are never unpainted these days,especially since I found out that painting them keeps them looking nice and feminine. My hubby has nice shapely feet and that’s an added incentive to keep my toes painted. In the days of unpainted toes, people who meet us together often had a confused expression when they looked at us from top to toe and back up again.
Though they were already painted, they had taken a bit of roughing up on the long weekend and really did not look as elegant as they shud have. So I took off the coral swirl or whatever that shade was called (it was nice deep orange with a hint of burnt sienna and gold in it) and scrubbed my toes and then wondered what shade to use. I was really not in a mood for pinks and the deep red needed me to be more careful than normal…and so I fished out this grape something something which essentially is a shade of pink and violet mixed with lots of glitter. The last time I tried it on my toes it did not look very effective and on my fingers it looked rather nice but just that it was a bit too thick and took some time to dry and even then it did not chip off so much as rub off and was very annoying…so I popped in couple of drops of the polish remover into the bottle and loosened it up nicely and then set down to paint my toes…Normally this polish takes a good 2 coats to apply evenly as compared to other shades which take one coat .So I don’t use this shade that often….but once I did a nice 3 coats one after the other on each foot(the paint was thinner and so did not take time to dey),voila…I loved it….I expected the usual shade and instead I have on a nice frosted pink nail polish with a hint of grape in it….Hopefully, by now I have u all screaming “Get on with it,will ya!!!”.Ok….I’ll get on with it…
My nose is healing nicely and does not bother me as much as it did…Our long weekend and the climate change brought on a terrible case of dryness and cracking on the inside of my nose. And the poor nosey wud bleed and feel extremely irritated at all times.
But since yday,its reduced and the cracks are not bleeding anymore.
Chuckle, u know what? Its so nice to know that u guys cant see me when u read this,cos am sure by now one of u wud have thrown a shoe at me. Am feeling terrible sleepy cos have been waking up before 6 and reaching office around 7 for the last 2 days.
I really can’t think of anything to write except that I have started a food diary and am keeping track of everything that passes in thru my lips except for water and the occasional fly. So adieu for now.
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