"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
I need to work on this.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The great Escape - An update on the Shake-it shake-it.
Ok, so today morning we had to attend a video conference with our offshore team and the conference was scheduled to be held at an unearthly hour of 8:00 a.m. Having managed to sleep successfully thru 3 different morning alarms, all set to beep 5 min after one another, Anup and I were woken up at 7:20 a.m. by a call from poor ole Vedha who had been solemnly promised the presence of the aforesaid couple in office by 7:00 a.m.In my defense I must say that tossing and turning till past 2 in the night really does not work well with getting up at 6:00 in the morning. Sigh!! Anyway after the meeting, with just ten minutes before the cafeteria closed, I was more worried abt missing my regular cuppa rather than the impending imaginary quake.
And so when a couple of equally earth-can-quake-for-all-I-care teammates invited me to join their table,I promptly decided to do so. As we were jabbering away ,there was an announcement over the speaker system regarding the quake and that’s when we decided that we were really not keen on crawling under the cafeteria tables. So we decided to leave quickly and go back to our seats. We walked into the lobby of the building only to have two towering security guys frown at us and say “You shud not be walking around”.
Now as per the rules, if u don’t have a table to crawl under, you are supposed to stand against a wall. I for one infinitely preferred the option of crawling under my table to pretending to be stuck against the wall in the lobby with my coffee in one hand and my laptop bag in the other.No.Thats not for me. So before they cud tell me to do that, I told them “I am going to my desk, to crawl underneath. I am going”, and ran off with my teammates. We hurried into our work bay to find the area seemingly deserted with just one guy wandering abt in a fluorescent green jacket and carrying a walkie talkie.Cripes!!!The bay’s fire warden who is in charge of the drill. I almost turned around to make a run for it before he caught me while one of my teammates instinctively ducked down though there was no table anywhere within 6 feet of her and if it had been a real quake then she wud have been a sitting duck for any debris that fell. But I had a funny feeling that she was really trying to hide from the fire warden. Luckily she straightened up just in time as the warden turned round and saw us.
Owing to the unfortunate location of my darned table, I had to walk past the warden who looked at me sternly and said “You are not supposed to be walking”. Well, I smiled sweetly at him and replied “I am going to my table”. And to show him that I was in earnest, I quickly trotted down to my table, passing my colleague’s bum sticking out from under his table, his head nowhere to be seen (Did he think that his bum alone wud be safe outside or something?) and dropped to my knees, crawled under my table, popped my head out and cheerfully waved at the Fire warden to show that I am in. I wonder why the man didn’t look more pleased than he did.
Anyway I popped my head back under the table and as instructed ,tried to hold onto the table to prepare myself to move with it.Really!!They just had to make the table without any legs, didn’t they? It was the kind that was attached to the cubicle partition and had absolutely no part you cud hold on to. So I held on to the waste paper basket. Before I cud sing the Shake-it song to myself, the speakers announced that the earthquake was over .Huh!!That’s it??? I might as well have saved my poor knees the trouble.
Anyway, am glad to inform you folks that almost everyone in our bay conformed to the rules and got under the table. In fact I was as proud of them as Obama wud have been if they had done the Shake-it dance.Well, except of Anup and Vedha,who were outside on the patio enjoying their coffee and did not realize that an earthquake had struck and gone until our company manager happened to ask us if everyone got down under the table in our bay.Thats when the two men simultaneously turned to me and asked “When did it happen?”
Yeah!!That’s right. With 1.3 million people getting down on their knees and crawling under tables to hide from an imaginary earth quake, you wud think that these 2 wud at least have known it happened.
So much for the Great Southern California Quack-it.
And so when a couple of equally earth-can-quake-for-all-I-care teammates invited me to join their table,I promptly decided to do so. As we were jabbering away ,there was an announcement over the speaker system regarding the quake and that’s when we decided that we were really not keen on crawling under the cafeteria tables. So we decided to leave quickly and go back to our seats. We walked into the lobby of the building only to have two towering security guys frown at us and say “You shud not be walking around”.
Now as per the rules, if u don’t have a table to crawl under, you are supposed to stand against a wall. I for one infinitely preferred the option of crawling under my table to pretending to be stuck against the wall in the lobby with my coffee in one hand and my laptop bag in the other.No.Thats not for me. So before they cud tell me to do that, I told them “I am going to my desk, to crawl underneath. I am going”, and ran off with my teammates. We hurried into our work bay to find the area seemingly deserted with just one guy wandering abt in a fluorescent green jacket and carrying a walkie talkie.Cripes!!!The bay’s fire warden who is in charge of the drill. I almost turned around to make a run for it before he caught me while one of my teammates instinctively ducked down though there was no table anywhere within 6 feet of her and if it had been a real quake then she wud have been a sitting duck for any debris that fell. But I had a funny feeling that she was really trying to hide from the fire warden. Luckily she straightened up just in time as the warden turned round and saw us.
Owing to the unfortunate location of my darned table, I had to walk past the warden who looked at me sternly and said “You are not supposed to be walking”. Well, I smiled sweetly at him and replied “I am going to my table”. And to show him that I was in earnest, I quickly trotted down to my table, passing my colleague’s bum sticking out from under his table, his head nowhere to be seen (Did he think that his bum alone wud be safe outside or something?) and dropped to my knees, crawled under my table, popped my head out and cheerfully waved at the Fire warden to show that I am in. I wonder why the man didn’t look more pleased than he did.
Anyway I popped my head back under the table and as instructed ,tried to hold onto the table to prepare myself to move with it.Really!!They just had to make the table without any legs, didn’t they? It was the kind that was attached to the cubicle partition and had absolutely no part you cud hold on to. So I held on to the waste paper basket. Before I cud sing the Shake-it song to myself, the speakers announced that the earthquake was over .Huh!!That’s it??? I might as well have saved my poor knees the trouble.
Anyway, am glad to inform you folks that almost everyone in our bay conformed to the rules and got under the table. In fact I was as proud of them as Obama wud have been if they had done the Shake-it dance.Well, except of Anup and Vedha,who were outside on the patio enjoying their coffee and did not realize that an earthquake had struck and gone until our company manager happened to ask us if everyone got down under the table in our bay.Thats when the two men simultaneously turned to me and asked “When did it happen?”
Yeah!!That’s right. With 1.3 million people getting down on their knees and crawling under tables to hide from an imaginary earth quake, you wud think that these 2 wud at least have known it happened.
So much for the Great Southern California Quack-it.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Shake it-shake it!!!
Ok…so after a dismal post,my sense of humour seems to have returned and with it came an opportunity to write yet another loony tune. Today I came in after lunch to find a flyer on my desk and it proclaimed in big bold letters “Shake out.Don’t freak out” and had November 13th 2008 printed in smaller letters.A closer read showed the words “The Great Southern California Shakeout”.Now that brings to mind an image of people across the nation shaking their booties…In fact we cud do it to the tune of “I like to shake it –shake it” song from Madagascar.Yay!!! I just love that…In fact I think Obama shud promote this event as an effort to improve communal harmony.I can just see it..People of different countries,castes ,creed and colour all shaking it and singing “I like to shake it –shake it”,all across USA.and after that I wud be surprised if we have any more hate crimes….
Alas,when I googled “The Great Southern California Shakeout”,I was mightily disappointed to find this.
// At 10 a.m. on November 13, join millions of people throughout Southern California in the ShakeOut Drill, the largest earthquake preparedness activity in U.S. history! //
Wow!!! I was impressed.I mean, u got to hand it to these people.They are so organized.Now had this been India,people wud not have started moving until after the earthquake came and went and most of us wud have even slept right thru it.
I heard from a friend that the big one was to have hit California in September 2007 but apparently its late.(Mama,please dont panic and dont tell Poppa,cos then He wud Panic!!!If it makes u feel any better,I shall lug around a table and make Anup also lug one around)…Yeah…We make schedules for everything these days.Coding,testing,lunch,shopping,washing pots and yet nothing happens according to the schedule.So what made u think that the earthquake wud be on time?Duh!
I guess I will have to live with the disappointment that my idea of “The Great Southern California Shakeout” is not to be.On second thoughts,my version of “The Great Southern California Shakeout”, wud only serve to bring the earthquake faster than its supposed to come.Why invite trouble,man?
Anyway coming back to the drill,here is more that I found on the website.
// At 10 a.m. on November 13, 2008, millions of people in homes, schools, businesses, government offices, and public places all over southern California will Drop, Cover, and Hold On.
Yeah,so u lucky people on the other side of the globe can have fun imagining a bunch of us out here dropping to the floor like a dozen eggs and scooting under our respective work tables. (And if u are lucky ,u can even see a live broadcast of it and laugh ur heads off.)Can u imagine that?Millions of people crawling under tables for no reason at all?What next? Carry a table wherever u go?
Sigh!!!what am I complaining abt?Am gonna be doing it too and I guess I shall play the “I like to shake it –shake it” tune in my head while am under the table.
Alas,when I googled “The Great Southern California Shakeout”,I was mightily disappointed to find this.
// At 10 a.m. on November 13, join millions of people throughout Southern California in the ShakeOut Drill, the largest earthquake preparedness activity in U.S. history! //
Wow!!! I was impressed.I mean, u got to hand it to these people.They are so organized.Now had this been India,people wud not have started moving until after the earthquake came and went and most of us wud have even slept right thru it.
I heard from a friend that the big one was to have hit California in September 2007 but apparently its late.(Mama,please dont panic and dont tell Poppa,cos then He wud Panic!!!If it makes u feel any better,I shall lug around a table and make Anup also lug one around)…Yeah…We make schedules for everything these days.Coding,testing,lunch,shopping,washing pots and yet nothing happens according to the schedule.So what made u think that the earthquake wud be on time?Duh!
I guess I will have to live with the disappointment that my idea of “The Great Southern California Shakeout” is not to be.On second thoughts,my version of “The Great Southern California Shakeout”, wud only serve to bring the earthquake faster than its supposed to come.Why invite trouble,man?
Anyway coming back to the drill,here is more that I found on the website.
// At 10 a.m. on November 13, 2008, millions of people in homes, schools, businesses, government offices, and public places all over southern California will Drop, Cover, and Hold On.
Yeah,so u lucky people on the other side of the globe can have fun imagining a bunch of us out here dropping to the floor like a dozen eggs and scooting under our respective work tables. (And if u are lucky ,u can even see a live broadcast of it and laugh ur heads off.)Can u imagine that?Millions of people crawling under tables for no reason at all?What next? Carry a table wherever u go?
Sigh!!!what am I complaining abt?Am gonna be doing it too and I guess I shall play the “I like to shake it –shake it” tune in my head while am under the table.
My dear abandoned blog
My poor abandoned blog!!!You are not abandoned exactly. And its not that I don’t have anything to write about. Its just that I don’t have any happy or funny things to write abt.Or maybe its that I do have but am not able to dwell on them long enuf…So u may ask me why I don’t write whatever is on my mind instead of trying to figure out something cheerful…Because what I have on my mind is tuf to write. Its one of those tuf times in life when I wish I cud run back home and hide under the bed and not have to see the sadness and the badness in the world.Its one of those times when I long to back in my homeland and really believe with all my heart that I will be able to handle it better if am back there. But am I deceiving myself? Maybe.Misery and sadness is the same everywhere and does not depend on the climate, does it?Or on geography either….
Do you want to know what bothers me so? Where shall I begin? Shall I begin with the people who have been losing their jobs here left and right? So far no one I personally know has lost their job and so I managed not to think abt it cos it was so sad. Each time the thought popped into my mind that many a Christmas stocking this year will remain empty and many will be the houses that wont have the Christmas lights hung out…It brings back memories of last year’s Christmas which I loved so much in this country.We rode around just so that I cud look at the lights and oooh-aah to my heart’s content.Let me tell u that to a certain extent I managed to avoid thinking abt those poor folks..But when a dear friend today seemed depressed,I asked him why and in turn he replied that he was saddened seeing his friends who lost their jobs and also mentioned the fact that his job may also be in danger.It broke my heart.and I had nothing to comfort him with.
What can I tell you abt the poor homeless man whom I saw almost every day for the past 18 months on my way to office? Can I describe how he had been sitting there for 20 years,depenedent on the neighboring shops and homes for food ?Can I even begin to describe the horror I felt when one day I heard the news that the poor man who troubled no one had been burnt alive by some heinous character? My heart stops at the thought that someone can walk up to a harmless man and pour inflammable stuff on him and set him alight at 9:45 p.m. and culprit is still walking free.I cannot express my outrage when the sister of the victim came forward in tears asking for help in catching the culprit.What kind of sister lets her brother sit on the roadside for 20 years,neglects him only to come back when he is dead? You can tell me that she may have had her own problems but I find it hard to forgive. My only consolation is that he is definitely in a better place than that roadside.
Should I tell you about the police shooting that happened at the junction outside my apartment yesterday?
Or do u want to hear abt the injustice that happens even after you have worked your butt off which though in retrospect does not bother me any more?Do u want to hear how tired I am of staying cheerful?of ignoring the sad stuff? of feeling outraged and helpless? of wanting to cry for all those people who lost their jobs? of not crying cos it seems absurd to cry for people whom I don’t even know? of wanting to go home cos it seems only the safe place and yet knowing its really no safer than where I am? of worrying that I am making choices that I may regret later? How do I even begin to explain it all..?Where do I start from? How do I explain the heartbreak that is really not mine?
And through all this why does what my friend’s wife told him seem to be the only thing that makes sense? That “ I need to worry about the things I can control and accept those which I can't. God is great and he has something good for us.”
In this big fat whirling mess,call it the world,life,rat race,whatever,my faith in God is the only thing that remains firm.And that is one reason why I don’t relinquish this blog which right now seems as ironic and as ridiculous as a sad clown trying hard to make funny faces for the world to laugh.So all I can do is pray and do my best to keep the people I love happy..and as for the rest,well,God will take care of it all...am feeling better already!!
Do you want to know what bothers me so? Where shall I begin? Shall I begin with the people who have been losing their jobs here left and right? So far no one I personally know has lost their job and so I managed not to think abt it cos it was so sad. Each time the thought popped into my mind that many a Christmas stocking this year will remain empty and many will be the houses that wont have the Christmas lights hung out…It brings back memories of last year’s Christmas which I loved so much in this country.We rode around just so that I cud look at the lights and oooh-aah to my heart’s content.Let me tell u that to a certain extent I managed to avoid thinking abt those poor folks..But when a dear friend today seemed depressed,I asked him why and in turn he replied that he was saddened seeing his friends who lost their jobs and also mentioned the fact that his job may also be in danger.It broke my heart.and I had nothing to comfort him with.
What can I tell you abt the poor homeless man whom I saw almost every day for the past 18 months on my way to office? Can I describe how he had been sitting there for 20 years,depenedent on the neighboring shops and homes for food ?Can I even begin to describe the horror I felt when one day I heard the news that the poor man who troubled no one had been burnt alive by some heinous character? My heart stops at the thought that someone can walk up to a harmless man and pour inflammable stuff on him and set him alight at 9:45 p.m. and culprit is still walking free.I cannot express my outrage when the sister of the victim came forward in tears asking for help in catching the culprit.What kind of sister lets her brother sit on the roadside for 20 years,neglects him only to come back when he is dead? You can tell me that she may have had her own problems but I find it hard to forgive. My only consolation is that he is definitely in a better place than that roadside.
Should I tell you about the police shooting that happened at the junction outside my apartment yesterday?
Or do u want to hear abt the injustice that happens even after you have worked your butt off which though in retrospect does not bother me any more?Do u want to hear how tired I am of staying cheerful?of ignoring the sad stuff? of feeling outraged and helpless? of wanting to cry for all those people who lost their jobs? of not crying cos it seems absurd to cry for people whom I don’t even know? of wanting to go home cos it seems only the safe place and yet knowing its really no safer than where I am? of worrying that I am making choices that I may regret later? How do I even begin to explain it all..?Where do I start from? How do I explain the heartbreak that is really not mine?
And through all this why does what my friend’s wife told him seem to be the only thing that makes sense? That “ I need to worry about the things I can control and accept those which I can't. God is great and he has something good for us.”
In this big fat whirling mess,call it the world,life,rat race,whatever,my faith in God is the only thing that remains firm.And that is one reason why I don’t relinquish this blog which right now seems as ironic and as ridiculous as a sad clown trying hard to make funny faces for the world to laugh.So all I can do is pray and do my best to keep the people I love happy..and as for the rest,well,God will take care of it all...am feeling better already!!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
May I present.....
.................my very fist tag.
Ok…Coming to the tag I promised to work on.For the uninitiated like the DH and mama and my aunts who are probably the only readers of this blog other than my friend across the seas who tagged me,a tag is “something” (um-uh) in which u are asked to write on some topic or the other.And I firmly believe that this is just a polite way of telling ppl whose blogs u read and who have not posted anything for more than 3 weeks ,”Get up and post, u lazy moron”.
So coming back to the tag, here is the deal
The tag:
Two questions in each category. Answer them and then tag your friends from the blog-o-sphere. Yeah ,except that I really don’t have that many friends on that particular sphere…In fact I have only one and that one tagged me.
Yesterday
Your oldest memory
My oldest memory?I guess that means my earliest memory.(Cos technically my oldest memory wud be what I did a minute ago which wud be….scratch my back?I don’t think anyone really wud be interested in that)..hmmm…lemme think…My earliest memory wud be playing house-house in my grandmother’s bedroom by the light of a table lamp cos that was the only light switch I cud reach to turn on.Its a memory redolent with my grandmother’s perfume,cuticura powder,clean sheets,moth balls and sandalwood…It’s a smell I associate with my grandparents to this day and that is the reason why I love the Cuticura deoderant as much as I do…The large cluttered table with rusted photoframes of saints and my great grand-parents were carefully pushed aside to set up my kitchen.The one-inch space in front of the musty dusty files on the shelves below,held my imaginery groceries and a few tiny pots to make it more real.On the bed ,alternately sitting and lying down based upon whether he was asleep or going to school ,was my baby, my patient old grandfather ,white springy hair with glasses,dressed in a white baniyan and a white dhoti with bottle green border.A quiet man ,who in spite of his difficulty in moving around,wud obediently sit up when I ordered that it was time for school and go back to lying down when I decided that he had spent enuf time eating the imaginery dinner. I dunno why we never played in the mornings…It was always in the evenings before dinner and I don’t have a memory of playing with him in the mornings.
On second thoughts am not so sure if that really is my earliest memory.It cud very well be the time when my mom had me sit on the Western toilet with my legs dangling far above the floor to do my …um…daily duty…while I clutched at her tightly,terrified of falling inside the commode and wished desperately for the comfort of my green potty.
Chuckle…
Though as my grandmother used to say, my earliest memory shud really have been the time I was standing at the window of my grandparent’s bedroom and waving at my grandfather who was out for his daily stroll in the overgrown garden at the back of the house. Supposedly, I was standing at the window and repeatedly waving when my grandmother asked me who am waving to. I replied that am waving at granddad and I believe the lady thought nothing of it until I called out to my granddad “Why are u sitting there? Come here”.My grandmother asked me where my granddad was sitting and I replied “In that pit” and that’s when my grandmother luckily decided to investigate and found that my poor granddad had lost his balance and fallen into a pit.Since I was the only soul in the vicinity he was waving at me for help while I cheerfully waved back at him.In my defense, I have absolutely no memory of the incident and really cannot tell u why it seemed perfectly normal that my granddad wud sit in a mud pit in his white dhoti and wave at me.All I can think of is that all adults did strange things and when questioned,always claimed that a child wud not understand.
What were you doing 10 years ago?
Cripes!!let me count back and figure out which class I was in.I guess it wud be 1998 and that was the year I wrote my tenth standard exams.Well,ten years ago wud be 1998 November.Correction.I wud have finished my tenth std exams and wud have been half way thru the 11th std curriculum.I cud have been anywhere from the labs to the PT ground or maybe the yoga hall..Havent got a clue.
Today
Your first thought today morning
Did DH finally run away? Chuckle…just kidding…To be honest, the first thought was that I did not have any horrible dreams, thank God!!!.I have all kindsa weird horrible dreams that seem extremely real and worry the life out of me…And I make sure I tell them to someone cos apparently there is some old belief that a dream at dawn will come true.and that if u tell it to someone it wont come true…Even after telling it ,I still worry abt it coming true .and so weird or not,any horrible dream is immediately described to the DH to make sure that it does not come true..and for good measure ,I tell it to my Mama too,though she really has much less patience than the DH for my verbose accounts of my weird dream.I guess she doesn’t realise that the verbose accounts rise from a sheer terror that missing an important detail may cause the dream to come true.
To the ppl out there gaping in shock that I cud be capable of such superstitions,well,to each his own belief…and lets say I have my own reasons.
Its almost 2 years…since I lost a very dear friend.I cant say the wound has healed..and I will never forget how I woke up at 4 a.m. in the morning,heart pounding,trying to remember who I saw in the dream,still shaking with the violence of the accident as I saw it.The more I tried to remember the face,the faster the dream receded,leaving behind only a taste of terror, a helplessness…A week later my friend passed away….My friend did not die in an accident. He died of a heart attack at a ripe old age of 23 years,with just one exam to clear to achieve his dream of becoming a post grad, poised to be a team lead in a week’s time ,nominated for a promotion due the next month.I have never been able to shake off chilling thought that it was his face that I saw in the dream.
If you built a time capsule today what would it contain?
Well,that’s an easy one.Of course ,Dad,Mama,DH,Buntu,Tofy , some food supplies,a few good books,a laptop with an internet connection,lotsa craft supplies.
Sheer bliss!!!Lets go!!!
Tomorrow
This year ….
Hmmm….This year has been…chuckle…an experience.Honestly ,that’s the only way it cud be described.I got married and more importantly , made the right choice;Marvelled at the community effort that took place at a state level that in a nutshell can be described as my marriage;realised how blessed I am that so many ppl cared; Put up with a lot of crap and then realised I did not have to;Lost myself and found myself;Got my career into perspective; Found lots of hobbies and am loving it,blogged more regularly than I thought I wud, found an amazing kindred spirit across the seas and fell in love with her,found myself a new aunt and fell in love with her;made lots of new friends and learnt the value of a smile on a tuf day.Missed my dog,my bro,my parents and my country to the point of insanity(yeah,there was a point when I started thinking I shud have become a bajji wali or atleast married a bajjiwala.That wud have kept me in my own country) . And still stayed put in the belief that they wud not expect anything less of me.
And at this point am happy and planning a banana nut cake for the evening.
What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?
I see myself as mad as ever, as loony as ever if not more and as creative as ever…Maybe a little more patient. Actually, I don’t see that at all…mmm..hmmm..Nope.I don’t see that at all.
Ok…Coming to the tag I promised to work on.For the uninitiated like the DH and mama and my aunts who are probably the only readers of this blog other than my friend across the seas who tagged me,a tag is “something” (um-uh) in which u are asked to write on some topic or the other.And I firmly believe that this is just a polite way of telling ppl whose blogs u read and who have not posted anything for more than 3 weeks ,”Get up and post, u lazy moron”.
So coming back to the tag, here is the deal
The tag:
Two questions in each category. Answer them and then tag your friends from the blog-o-sphere. Yeah ,except that I really don’t have that many friends on that particular sphere…In fact I have only one and that one tagged me.
Yesterday
Your oldest memory
My oldest memory?I guess that means my earliest memory.(Cos technically my oldest memory wud be what I did a minute ago which wud be….scratch my back?I don’t think anyone really wud be interested in that)..hmmm…lemme think…My earliest memory wud be playing house-house in my grandmother’s bedroom by the light of a table lamp cos that was the only light switch I cud reach to turn on.Its a memory redolent with my grandmother’s perfume,cuticura powder,clean sheets,moth balls and sandalwood…It’s a smell I associate with my grandparents to this day and that is the reason why I love the Cuticura deoderant as much as I do…The large cluttered table with rusted photoframes of saints and my great grand-parents were carefully pushed aside to set up my kitchen.The one-inch space in front of the musty dusty files on the shelves below,held my imaginery groceries and a few tiny pots to make it more real.On the bed ,alternately sitting and lying down based upon whether he was asleep or going to school ,was my baby, my patient old grandfather ,white springy hair with glasses,dressed in a white baniyan and a white dhoti with bottle green border.A quiet man ,who in spite of his difficulty in moving around,wud obediently sit up when I ordered that it was time for school and go back to lying down when I decided that he had spent enuf time eating the imaginery dinner. I dunno why we never played in the mornings…It was always in the evenings before dinner and I don’t have a memory of playing with him in the mornings.
On second thoughts am not so sure if that really is my earliest memory.It cud very well be the time when my mom had me sit on the Western toilet with my legs dangling far above the floor to do my …um…daily duty…while I clutched at her tightly,terrified of falling inside the commode and wished desperately for the comfort of my green potty.
Chuckle…
Though as my grandmother used to say, my earliest memory shud really have been the time I was standing at the window of my grandparent’s bedroom and waving at my grandfather who was out for his daily stroll in the overgrown garden at the back of the house. Supposedly, I was standing at the window and repeatedly waving when my grandmother asked me who am waving to. I replied that am waving at granddad and I believe the lady thought nothing of it until I called out to my granddad “Why are u sitting there? Come here”.My grandmother asked me where my granddad was sitting and I replied “In that pit” and that’s when my grandmother luckily decided to investigate and found that my poor granddad had lost his balance and fallen into a pit.Since I was the only soul in the vicinity he was waving at me for help while I cheerfully waved back at him.In my defense, I have absolutely no memory of the incident and really cannot tell u why it seemed perfectly normal that my granddad wud sit in a mud pit in his white dhoti and wave at me.All I can think of is that all adults did strange things and when questioned,always claimed that a child wud not understand.
What were you doing 10 years ago?
Cripes!!let me count back and figure out which class I was in.I guess it wud be 1998 and that was the year I wrote my tenth standard exams.Well,ten years ago wud be 1998 November.Correction.I wud have finished my tenth std exams and wud have been half way thru the 11th std curriculum.I cud have been anywhere from the labs to the PT ground or maybe the yoga hall..Havent got a clue.
Today
Your first thought today morning
Did DH finally run away? Chuckle…just kidding…To be honest, the first thought was that I did not have any horrible dreams, thank God!!!.I have all kindsa weird horrible dreams that seem extremely real and worry the life out of me…And I make sure I tell them to someone cos apparently there is some old belief that a dream at dawn will come true.and that if u tell it to someone it wont come true…Even after telling it ,I still worry abt it coming true .and so weird or not,any horrible dream is immediately described to the DH to make sure that it does not come true..and for good measure ,I tell it to my Mama too,though she really has much less patience than the DH for my verbose accounts of my weird dream.I guess she doesn’t realise that the verbose accounts rise from a sheer terror that missing an important detail may cause the dream to come true.
To the ppl out there gaping in shock that I cud be capable of such superstitions,well,to each his own belief…and lets say I have my own reasons.
Its almost 2 years…since I lost a very dear friend.I cant say the wound has healed..and I will never forget how I woke up at 4 a.m. in the morning,heart pounding,trying to remember who I saw in the dream,still shaking with the violence of the accident as I saw it.The more I tried to remember the face,the faster the dream receded,leaving behind only a taste of terror, a helplessness…A week later my friend passed away….My friend did not die in an accident. He died of a heart attack at a ripe old age of 23 years,with just one exam to clear to achieve his dream of becoming a post grad, poised to be a team lead in a week’s time ,nominated for a promotion due the next month.I have never been able to shake off chilling thought that it was his face that I saw in the dream.
If you built a time capsule today what would it contain?
Well,that’s an easy one.Of course ,Dad,Mama,DH,Buntu,Tofy , some food supplies,a few good books,a laptop with an internet connection,lotsa craft supplies.
Sheer bliss!!!Lets go!!!
Tomorrow
This year ….
Hmmm….This year has been…chuckle…an experience.Honestly ,that’s the only way it cud be described.I got married and more importantly , made the right choice;Marvelled at the community effort that took place at a state level that in a nutshell can be described as my marriage;realised how blessed I am that so many ppl cared; Put up with a lot of crap and then realised I did not have to;Lost myself and found myself;Got my career into perspective; Found lots of hobbies and am loving it,blogged more regularly than I thought I wud, found an amazing kindred spirit across the seas and fell in love with her,found myself a new aunt and fell in love with her;made lots of new friends and learnt the value of a smile on a tuf day.Missed my dog,my bro,my parents and my country to the point of insanity(yeah,there was a point when I started thinking I shud have become a bajji wali or atleast married a bajjiwala.That wud have kept me in my own country) . And still stayed put in the belief that they wud not expect anything less of me.
And at this point am happy and planning a banana nut cake for the evening.
What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?
I see myself as mad as ever, as loony as ever if not more and as creative as ever…Maybe a little more patient. Actually, I don’t see that at all…mmm..hmmm..Nope.I don’t see that at all.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
A turn in the maze
Its strange what the human mind can come up with as u trot down the memory lane...I think its not just a lane..Its a maze and depending on the turn which u take u come across a different memory.And its the strangest things that make u take a specific turn.For instance,this morning while I was sitting outside with my customary cup of coffee,enjoying the early morning sun and rolling a few beads on the white sheets of the notepad Anup had left on the table,gazing into space when it suddenly dawned on me that I was staring at Anup's garden,a plastic trough filled with soil and in which abt 2 weeks ago we had a couple of flowers bloom...The plastic trough had some green stuff growing on the insides under the soil…and I vaguely thought of moss..and hpw I had loved moss as a child…In Kerala my grandmother’s house had a compound wall that was the joy of any kid…The right height to look over,I spent hrs taking in the details of the neighbours houses and simply exploring the tiny holes in the rough walls….and the moss that grew on the walls was one of my favorite discoveries…thick,soft and green and in places there were tiny stalks with a blob on the end …it was velvety to the touch ,a beautiful shade of green ..I had a thing for bright colors even then and I loved stroking the moss and using a stick to carefully scrape off a piece without breaking it and planting it on a flat part of the ground,imagining a tiny house behind it…It reminded me of the lawn in my aunt’s house at Mangalore and since I had always been fascinated by the lawn,the moss to me was just a mini lawn…I was always trying to scrape off really large bits and but my love affair with moss ended when once a tiny earthworm crawled out of a bit of moss…That still gives me the creepies….I hate worms of any kind…and the thought of them gives me goose bumps..
That was the age when u really believe that there is a mini world out there and that elves and pixies do live in amongst the daisies…That was the age when I wud read abt Brer Rabbit stuffing his goods in a hollow and set out to find a hollow,hoping to find the goods of a Fox considering we had a lot of foxes in the place… It helped that my grandmother’s house was located on a large plot with enuf Mango trees and gnarly branched trees to delight the soul of any kid…My favorites being one mango tree at the back of the plot and another a drumstick tree(is it really called a drumstick tree?) next to the house…The drumstick tree was my dream come true…sloping up at a very convenient angle ,it gave me direct access to the terrace of the house..I cud clamber up the tree and either sit on the branches or climb up on the sunshade and sit there with a view of the overgrown garden and the neighbour;s house…I have spent so many lovely hrs on that spot,reading a book,watching the breeze shake the leaves of the different trees there…Even though the plot was on the side of a very busy road,it still was a world of its own…Many are the hot afternoons where I have resisted the temptation of a nap to sit up on my nest where it was cool thanks to the shady trees all around…
I knew even then that Brer Rabbit lived outside of India and I really cud not hope to find his goods in any of our trees and quite often in the midst of my expeditions,wished that the foxes in our compound had a little bit of imagination and wud atleast get together and talk so that I cud watch them…In fact my grandmother’s house has a peephole on the front door which has a small shutter and at night the foxes wud roam the courtyard and come as close as the doorsteps and I wud peep at them ,trying not to breathe lest they know am there and run away….They were a bit too small than I imagined them to be but boy, were they beautiful…and it helped to have an elder cousin who was as loony as I was and stayed up with me to peek thru the peephole whenever she came down during her summer vacation…We both were supposed to be in bed sleeping like the angelic cherubs our moms had hoped for but alas,our respective mothers were sadly disillusioned. …In fact,I think they had never had any illusions abt my cousin cos from what I heard she always drove my poor aunt nuts by staying awake all night long and going to sleep all day long…chuckle…Ok..Mama..lets talk abt my sleeping patterns in private…
And then with a suddenness that comes from realizing that u are late for office,I came back to the present and trotted off to office…A colleague wished me a happy Diwali and asked me if we celebrate Diwali in South India..and that led me down another turn in the maze…
A dark night when the entire colony decided to celebrate diwali.The flats opposite to our house had all their lights turned off and their balconies decorated with lighted candles which were a less messier option than the traditional oil lamps.
My mama gave in to our excitement and we all trotted up to our own balcony and lit a row of candles bordering the entire balcony.And the desire for perfection had me and Buntu running around trying to keep the breeze from blowing out any of the candles…and then finally to our dismay there fell rain putting out the candles on our balcony and on the neighbouring balconies…My mom tried to console us saying that it always rained on Diwali…which was not exactly consoling to 2 kids who had just managed to keep the candles all lit…
Chuckle…I guess am right abt the memory lane being a maze.It just depends on which turn u take and u come across something u haven’t thot abt in years…
That was the age when u really believe that there is a mini world out there and that elves and pixies do live in amongst the daisies…That was the age when I wud read abt Brer Rabbit stuffing his goods in a hollow and set out to find a hollow,hoping to find the goods of a Fox considering we had a lot of foxes in the place… It helped that my grandmother’s house was located on a large plot with enuf Mango trees and gnarly branched trees to delight the soul of any kid…My favorites being one mango tree at the back of the plot and another a drumstick tree(is it really called a drumstick tree?) next to the house…The drumstick tree was my dream come true…sloping up at a very convenient angle ,it gave me direct access to the terrace of the house..I cud clamber up the tree and either sit on the branches or climb up on the sunshade and sit there with a view of the overgrown garden and the neighbour;s house…I have spent so many lovely hrs on that spot,reading a book,watching the breeze shake the leaves of the different trees there…Even though the plot was on the side of a very busy road,it still was a world of its own…Many are the hot afternoons where I have resisted the temptation of a nap to sit up on my nest where it was cool thanks to the shady trees all around…
I knew even then that Brer Rabbit lived outside of India and I really cud not hope to find his goods in any of our trees and quite often in the midst of my expeditions,wished that the foxes in our compound had a little bit of imagination and wud atleast get together and talk so that I cud watch them…In fact my grandmother’s house has a peephole on the front door which has a small shutter and at night the foxes wud roam the courtyard and come as close as the doorsteps and I wud peep at them ,trying not to breathe lest they know am there and run away….They were a bit too small than I imagined them to be but boy, were they beautiful…and it helped to have an elder cousin who was as loony as I was and stayed up with me to peek thru the peephole whenever she came down during her summer vacation…We both were supposed to be in bed sleeping like the angelic cherubs our moms had hoped for but alas,our respective mothers were sadly disillusioned. …In fact,I think they had never had any illusions abt my cousin cos from what I heard she always drove my poor aunt nuts by staying awake all night long and going to sleep all day long…chuckle…Ok..Mama..lets talk abt my sleeping patterns in private…
And then with a suddenness that comes from realizing that u are late for office,I came back to the present and trotted off to office…A colleague wished me a happy Diwali and asked me if we celebrate Diwali in South India..and that led me down another turn in the maze…
A dark night when the entire colony decided to celebrate diwali.The flats opposite to our house had all their lights turned off and their balconies decorated with lighted candles which were a less messier option than the traditional oil lamps.
My mama gave in to our excitement and we all trotted up to our own balcony and lit a row of candles bordering the entire balcony.And the desire for perfection had me and Buntu running around trying to keep the breeze from blowing out any of the candles…and then finally to our dismay there fell rain putting out the candles on our balcony and on the neighbouring balconies…My mom tried to console us saying that it always rained on Diwali…which was not exactly consoling to 2 kids who had just managed to keep the candles all lit…
Chuckle…I guess am right abt the memory lane being a maze.It just depends on which turn u take and u come across something u haven’t thot abt in years…
Sunday, October 26, 2008
ta-daaaaa!!!!
Twiddledum-dee ..Twiddledum-doo...am hopping on one foot and on the other too....looloo..lala...oh..laaaa....aha!!
Ok..In case nobody understood what that was,let me explain that it was a happy dance...with music to match..because...ladies and gentlemen,because....My parcel Arrived!!!!!Yippppppeeee..oooohooooo...!!!
Apparently the parcel had been delivered at the apartment office some days back but there was no notification left in our post box...So the two poor souls who traipsed daily to the post box and traipsed back disappointed really did not have to be disappointed..Anyway..whats done is done and over with...But boy...am I thrilled..Practically made my weekend...I have been gloating over the contents the way Rapunzel gloated over her golden tresses...
Apart from that,nothing else to say...adieu...!!!
Ok..In case nobody understood what that was,let me explain that it was a happy dance...with music to match..because...ladies and gentlemen,because....My parcel Arrived!!!!!Yippppppeeee..oooohooooo...!!!
Apparently the parcel had been delivered at the apartment office some days back but there was no notification left in our post box...So the two poor souls who traipsed daily to the post box and traipsed back disappointed really did not have to be disappointed..Anyway..whats done is done and over with...But boy...am I thrilled..Practically made my weekend...I have been gloating over the contents the way Rapunzel gloated over her golden tresses...
Apart from that,nothing else to say...adieu...!!!
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