I don’t know if the nature of my job is a bane or a blessing. Last week I worked like crazy to finish what was a mountain of work only to find that someone else had been working hard to build the mountain back up..Huh!!!And come this week, I have been sitting around for the past hour and a half and no one wants any work done. Can u imagine the frustration? They never let me get used to working too hard and they never let me get used to sitting simply…I bet by tomorrow they wud have assembled the mountain again.
Anyway with all the work I had to do last week, I was real glad that the weekend came and all the work scheduled for the weekend had been mercifully cancelled.Sigh!!!So finally I had a whole weekend free to do anything. But then on Friday night ,having finished the last piece of work I had on hand, I stretched my slightly stiff neck and……ended up with a sprain.Yes,I managed to sprain my neck very badly and it hurt like crazy. Anyway I sat down and waited for the hubby to be back from his boy’s night out. And then once the man was back I went of to sleep hoping that the sprain wud go away by morning. Little did I know the aches and groans awaiting me.
Come morning I had a real stiff neck and the only way to ease the pain was to sit with my back and head leaning against a wall. The hubby rubbed the poor neck with some pain balm and that eased it up a bit…By Saturday night the pain had become bearable and I hoped to have a nice enjoyable Sunday. That was before I woke up with a migraine.Yeah!!!A classic case of a full blown migraine which made me wish I cud conk myself on the head and become unconscious. The entire morning and the better part of the afternoon was spent on the couch trying not to move. If I stayed still for 20 min then the pain wud slow down to an occasional twinge. The moment I shifted a bit or focused on something, it wud start pounding with a vengeance.Sigh!!!I cud not shift my eyes from one object to another suddenly. I had to do a kind of slow wandering act with my eyes and sort of let my vision move slowly from one object to another. The trouble with this is that I kept forgetting to do it.
My prospects of the nice relaxing weekend were flushed far down the drain. And all I wanted was to get rid of the damn migraine which when it hit invariably stuck to me like a leech for 2-3 days.U cannot imagine how frustrating it is to fall asleep with a migraine and wake up and the first thing u are aware of is a sickening pounding in ur head.U wish u had never opened ur eyes. So I popped in a tablet and waited for a couple of hrs.No good.So I popped another one.That did the trick. The migraine slowed down to a throb but it still throbbed. The last thing I wanted was to go to office on a Monday morning with a migraine.Wud send me over the edge. So in went another 2 tabs, not in quick succession though. But I had enuf of the pain and the nausea. How long can u sit in a place without doing a thing? So I pulled out my beads and then did a bit of crochet. By then my ache had disappeared except for an occasional twinge. I still cud not bend down cos that wud make my head start pounding again.Sigh.!!!Anyway to keep my mind off the ruined weekend I baked a cake.Yeah!!I know. I must have been bonkers but the cake did come out well and the hubby loves cakes. He was miserable cos I was miserable and cud not talk much.I simply lay around like an old hag blinking slowly at him. Quite depressing I shud imagine.
So that was the weekend. No household chores done, no outings,nothing.One miserable woman and her helpless hubby. I guess it was the effect of working too hard for the last 2 weeks. Anyway ,here I am at office on Monday morning,tired,with no work pending for a change and enjoying it, and as much as I want to talk to people I really cant cos if I say more than two sentences, there is a pounding which starts up in my head. And if am not careful its gonna become a full blown migraine.
To be honest, this is is a rather depressing post but honestly what more can u expect with an aching neck and a throbbing head?
Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
At my unreasonable best!
I have a reputation (so I imagine) around here for being a very reasonable wife who does not call her husband every five minutes when he is out with the boys, does not crib at him and more or less lets him live his life in peace. But being reasonable comes at the price of ignoring a few things that all men do without fail and are so much part of male characteristics, like how they never can eat anything without dribbling it on their clothes, can’t eat with their mouths shut, just need an idiot box showing a ball and a minimum of 2 ppl running after it to keep them entertained, snore so loudly that u get used to daily dreams of thunderstorms and basically are rather funny creatures who really don’t have a clue.
I married an extremely patient man, who loves me to bits and does every damn thing in his power to keep a madcap like me happy. And I still have not figured out what keeps him in love with me.For a man who is the nice quiet type (atleast that’s the picture he presents to the world. Snort!!!) he has a married life which is anything but quiet considering he has a wife who talks non stop to him, the coffee jar, the cooker, the mixer, her spoons and her beads. So much so that when am quiet, the man suspects am upto no good.Huh!!Can u imagine!? Poor me. What’s the point of me putting up my paws daily and praying “Please God, help me be quiet and sane”?
Since they say that a fight or two helps in keeping a marriage spicy, I decided it was upto me to try and induce a fight in our normally peaceful life.(Please don’t listen to that neighbour making disbelieving noises. He is just jealous of my new doormat.) No offense meant to anyone but this was how I ranted at the hubby for making some unlucky comment abt cooking more often. To give him his due, the man never said that I always had to cook. All he said was that we shud try and cook more often but it was the perfect chance for the unreasonable lady to come out flapping which actually is pretty rare cos I married a man who simply wont fight.
Sigh!!!Anyway ,after a whole day of wandering abt with an injured air, we finally got round to the having-an-adult-conversation part
Me:“Oh yeah…I am mad at you.”
Hubby: “Why?”
Me: “Cos u said nasty things to me”
Hubby: “Like?”
Me: (defiantly, after a pause) “Well, I don’t remember exactly what”.
And the hubby laughs…Huh!!!Can u imagine the cheek? Am telling him am mad at him and the man laughs himself silly. And then he says that am talking like the woman in Friends series.
She: “Oh, am mad at u”
He: “Why?”
She: “Well, I don’t remember but I do remember am mad at you”
He: “Huh?”
She:”Wait!!I remember now. You said am boring!!!”
He: “I said what!!!!”
She: “Yes!!! You did. You said am boring and then u took off ur mask and u became Cameron Diaz”
He :( Speechless)…
She: “Ok. So there is a chance that this was in a dream.”
And the hubby laughs again.Now I tell u I was not mad cos of any dream. I knew I was mad at him .If only I cud remember what he said. I know he made some unlucky remark which really was not as bad as I made it out to be but at the time it seemed pretty unfair. Some household stuff. Anyway I was not abt to let him off the hook and decided to give him something to think abt.
Me: “Huh!!You think that’s funny, do u? Well, I’ll tell u how annoying it is. I make the bed and ten minutes later u lie down. I make it again and exactly ten minutes later u lie down again. And u never make the bed.”
Hubby: “Ok.What else?”
Me: “I clean the kitchen. You make the next meal and then the kitchen looks like a cyclone hit it. You never clean. For u, all that matters is food. Not a clean house. I clean it up and u mess it up and when ppl come they probably think the house is a mess cos I don’t clean it. And cos am so tired, I cook something quick and ppl think u don’t get fed at all. It’s always my fault.Men!!!Huh! You are all the same. All u want to do is to eat!”
Hubby: “OK, then?”
Me :( paused) “Well, there is lots more but I can’t remember”
Hubby:”Chuckle”
Me: ”Huh!! Well, u never do the laundry until I tell u.When I fold the clothes up,u pull out one shirt and mess up the entire shelf. Why can’t u take it out neatly without messing up the entire cupboard?”
Hubby: “Ok.What else?”
Me :( paused) “Well, there is lots more but I can’t remember” (uh-oh...This is tougher than I thought)
Hubby waits patiently.
Me: “Well, that’s all I can remember right now. Anyway that’s not the point. The point is that u men are all the same. None of u help out when we need the help and then u help out when we don’t need the help (huh?). And then u blame us for everything. When I was single I wud clean the house and then if I was too tired to cook, I wud eat a stick of carrot and drink a glass of milk and call it dinner. But u men invariably want a proper cooked dinner and we have to cook it for ur sake irrespective of how tired we are. Why cant u drink milk and eat a carrot? It’s healthy too. Had it been a woman in ur place she wud have cheerfully settled for a carrot. But not u stupid men….U all are the same. No wonder today no woman wants to marry a man. No wonder more and more women are becoming lesbians. Men are driving women into becoming lesbians cos they don’t help in keeping the house clean and still want cooked food…..Huh!”
I was just getting properly worked up and into top gear but then the hubby is rolling with laughter .And then he says “Bebu,u really must put that in ur blog” and hoots with laughter.
Ahem! Not exactly what I expected. Sigh! Next time I think I’ll stick to being reasonable. It’s a lot easier.
I married an extremely patient man, who loves me to bits and does every damn thing in his power to keep a madcap like me happy. And I still have not figured out what keeps him in love with me.For a man who is the nice quiet type (atleast that’s the picture he presents to the world. Snort!!!) he has a married life which is anything but quiet considering he has a wife who talks non stop to him, the coffee jar, the cooker, the mixer, her spoons and her beads. So much so that when am quiet, the man suspects am upto no good.Huh!!Can u imagine!? Poor me. What’s the point of me putting up my paws daily and praying “Please God, help me be quiet and sane”?
Since they say that a fight or two helps in keeping a marriage spicy, I decided it was upto me to try and induce a fight in our normally peaceful life.(Please don’t listen to that neighbour making disbelieving noises. He is just jealous of my new doormat.) No offense meant to anyone but this was how I ranted at the hubby for making some unlucky comment abt cooking more often. To give him his due, the man never said that I always had to cook. All he said was that we shud try and cook more often but it was the perfect chance for the unreasonable lady to come out flapping which actually is pretty rare cos I married a man who simply wont fight.
Sigh!!!Anyway ,after a whole day of wandering abt with an injured air, we finally got round to the having-an-adult-conversation part
Me:“Oh yeah…I am mad at you.”
Hubby: “Why?”
Me: “Cos u said nasty things to me”
Hubby: “Like?”
Me: (defiantly, after a pause) “Well, I don’t remember exactly what”.
And the hubby laughs…Huh!!!Can u imagine the cheek? Am telling him am mad at him and the man laughs himself silly. And then he says that am talking like the woman in Friends series.
She: “Oh, am mad at u”
He: “Why?”
She: “Well, I don’t remember but I do remember am mad at you”
He: “Huh?”
She:”Wait!!I remember now. You said am boring!!!”
He: “I said what!!!!”
She: “Yes!!! You did. You said am boring and then u took off ur mask and u became Cameron Diaz”
He :( Speechless)…
She: “Ok. So there is a chance that this was in a dream.”
And the hubby laughs again.Now I tell u I was not mad cos of any dream. I knew I was mad at him .If only I cud remember what he said. I know he made some unlucky remark which really was not as bad as I made it out to be but at the time it seemed pretty unfair. Some household stuff. Anyway I was not abt to let him off the hook and decided to give him something to think abt.
Me: “Huh!!You think that’s funny, do u? Well, I’ll tell u how annoying it is. I make the bed and ten minutes later u lie down. I make it again and exactly ten minutes later u lie down again. And u never make the bed.”
Hubby: “Ok.What else?”
Me: “I clean the kitchen. You make the next meal and then the kitchen looks like a cyclone hit it. You never clean. For u, all that matters is food. Not a clean house. I clean it up and u mess it up and when ppl come they probably think the house is a mess cos I don’t clean it. And cos am so tired, I cook something quick and ppl think u don’t get fed at all. It’s always my fault.Men!!!Huh! You are all the same. All u want to do is to eat!”
Hubby: “OK, then?”
Me :( paused) “Well, there is lots more but I can’t remember”
Hubby:”Chuckle”
Me: ”Huh!! Well, u never do the laundry until I tell u.When I fold the clothes up,u pull out one shirt and mess up the entire shelf. Why can’t u take it out neatly without messing up the entire cupboard?”
Hubby: “Ok.What else?”
Me :( paused) “Well, there is lots more but I can’t remember” (uh-oh...This is tougher than I thought)
Hubby waits patiently.
Me: “Well, that’s all I can remember right now. Anyway that’s not the point. The point is that u men are all the same. None of u help out when we need the help and then u help out when we don’t need the help (huh?). And then u blame us for everything. When I was single I wud clean the house and then if I was too tired to cook, I wud eat a stick of carrot and drink a glass of milk and call it dinner. But u men invariably want a proper cooked dinner and we have to cook it for ur sake irrespective of how tired we are. Why cant u drink milk and eat a carrot? It’s healthy too. Had it been a woman in ur place she wud have cheerfully settled for a carrot. But not u stupid men….U all are the same. No wonder today no woman wants to marry a man. No wonder more and more women are becoming lesbians. Men are driving women into becoming lesbians cos they don’t help in keeping the house clean and still want cooked food…..Huh!”
I was just getting properly worked up and into top gear but then the hubby is rolling with laughter .And then he says “Bebu,u really must put that in ur blog” and hoots with laughter.
Ahem! Not exactly what I expected. Sigh! Next time I think I’ll stick to being reasonable. It’s a lot easier.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
To the man and woman ....
...who are celebrating their wedding anniversary today,brought me into the world,put up with each other,put up with me and the dog(my bro was always the angel.Needed no putting up with),from whom I learnt ....
....That at times u can positively hate the person who really is ur best friend.They'll sew their mouths up before they admit it.
....That there is something good in every person.Again,they'll sew their mouths up before they admit it of each other.
....That at times killing ur spouse may seem like a good idea but u really must not.Am sure they must have wanted to do the deed more times than they have cared to admit but thankfully,they have not.
....That u can get so frustrated at a man that u want to smash his head in.Now I know why my mom banged away at the kitchen sink.
....That women can be endearingly childish and maddeningly so.My dad's throbbing temple while he tried to talk on the fone while my mom kept asking questions beside him.
....That at times what is obvious to you may not be obvious to ur spouse.Dad says "there,woman ,there" and mom goofily asks 'Where,Where?" .Mom says "there ,man,there" and Dad goofily asks "Where ,where?".You get the point?
....That at times ur spouse may goof up but u also can goof up an equal number of times.Dad breaks a glass and mom messes up his carefully organised cabinet looking for change and they both mutter "does it on purpose.I know" when the other one is not around while the kids wonder why they are so unchangingly silly when it comes to one another.
....That men invariably never can figure out how to select the undamaged perfect veggie.My dad has been doing it for more years than he cares to remember and invariably my mom says "Ur dad has brought me veggies that were plucked the day after Gandhi died".Dad always blames the shopkeeper who invariably wud have said "lovely lady's finger,sir".
....That women invariably decide to bathe and step into the bathroom exactly half a minute after the man manages to find his towel and underwear.The innumerable times my dad stood outside the bathroom door with suppressed frustration when my mom had beat him to the bathroom just a minute before.My mom always asks why on earth he can't bathe in one of the other bathrooms in the house.
....That the dog is "ours" until she poops and then she becomes - "Your dog".But if the kids are around then its "the kid's" dog.
....That the kids are "ur" kids when they get bad marks,make a sad joke,lose something and basically mess up and "my" kids when they get good marks,someone says something good abt them or they do something smart.The fact that u may have inherited ur father's bulging nose and ur mom's popping eyes is irrelevant to them.Note:My father has a perfectly straight nice nose and my mom has nice bright un-popping eyes ,both of which I have not inherited.
....That u stick up for ur spouse no matter what.The number of times they have done it.
Happy Anniversary,Pops and Mama....Wish I was home...
....That at times u can positively hate the person who really is ur best friend.They'll sew their mouths up before they admit it.
....That there is something good in every person.Again,they'll sew their mouths up before they admit it of each other.
....That at times killing ur spouse may seem like a good idea but u really must not.Am sure they must have wanted to do the deed more times than they have cared to admit but thankfully,they have not.
....That u can get so frustrated at a man that u want to smash his head in.Now I know why my mom banged away at the kitchen sink.
....That women can be endearingly childish and maddeningly so.My dad's throbbing temple while he tried to talk on the fone while my mom kept asking questions beside him.
....That at times what is obvious to you may not be obvious to ur spouse.Dad says "there,woman ,there" and mom goofily asks 'Where,Where?" .Mom says "there ,man,there" and Dad goofily asks "Where ,where?".You get the point?
....That at times ur spouse may goof up but u also can goof up an equal number of times.Dad breaks a glass and mom messes up his carefully organised cabinet looking for change and they both mutter "does it on purpose.I know" when the other one is not around while the kids wonder why they are so unchangingly silly when it comes to one another.
....That men invariably never can figure out how to select the undamaged perfect veggie.My dad has been doing it for more years than he cares to remember and invariably my mom says "Ur dad has brought me veggies that were plucked the day after Gandhi died".Dad always blames the shopkeeper who invariably wud have said "lovely lady's finger,sir".
....That women invariably decide to bathe and step into the bathroom exactly half a minute after the man manages to find his towel and underwear.The innumerable times my dad stood outside the bathroom door with suppressed frustration when my mom had beat him to the bathroom just a minute before.My mom always asks why on earth he can't bathe in one of the other bathrooms in the house.
....That the dog is "ours" until she poops and then she becomes - "Your dog".But if the kids are around then its "the kid's" dog.
....That the kids are "ur" kids when they get bad marks,make a sad joke,lose something and basically mess up and "my" kids when they get good marks,someone says something good abt them or they do something smart.The fact that u may have inherited ur father's bulging nose and ur mom's popping eyes is irrelevant to them.Note:My father has a perfectly straight nice nose and my mom has nice bright un-popping eyes ,both of which I have not inherited.
....That u stick up for ur spouse no matter what.The number of times they have done it.
Happy Anniversary,Pops and Mama....Wish I was home...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Quaker Ver.5.4
He he he…L.A. just had an earthquake measuring 5.6 on the Richter scale.We were at office abt 40 miles away from the epicenter.It was exciting though am not sure I want anything bigger and like tons of folks who are tapping away at the keyboard abt it ,am another jobless nut who is busy tapping away.In fact nothing happened except that we all got a bit rattled.It felt like a giant was shaking the entire building and all folks inside along with it. At home a friend reported that her flower vase came crashing down .One more reason why u shudnt keep flower vases around apart from the fact that they collect dust like crazy…All in all I can say that the earthquake only served to add one more thing to the list of worries my parents already have..(Anyone got any ideas on how to keep them from receiving any kinda news abt earthquakes in L.A.?)My lil bro has just started his career and there are a bunch of madcaps out there in India wandering about and for the lack of having anything better to do,started blowing up places. Needless to say,I have been worried for both my parents and my bro.And I was seriously thinking of bringing them to the states to keep them safe…and then God sends me an earthquake. Another reminder of him being the Almighty, and above mundane things like earthquakes and explosive toting lunatics. What was I thinking of?
At office, everyone stood up and grinned goofily at each other. (and I thought I was the only nutcase around.) A bunch of females provided the drama needed with a lot of squealing. Our fire warden wandered about telling people to get under their table if something falls from the ceiling. Call me dumb but I fail to see the point of getting under the table after u get conked on the head.Isnt it better to get underneath the table before it happens?Chuckle.But again that’s my not-so-humble opinion. And no, we did not all scamper outside as we are supposed to do. And don’t ask me why. It seemed safer to get under our desks…Besides it lasted for something like 3 secs.
All fone lines were down including the mobile fones.And then a bunch of gloomy pessimists started on abt how earthquakes are gonna be the trend (trend?like oversized glasses are the trend?)and how L.A is doomed. I tried to read up a bit on LA earthquakes and when the next one is predicted and I had to stop cos some of the things I read were really hilarious. One person suggested that when an earthquake is imminent, the water in wells will rise. What do they suggest? That we sit on the edge of a well with our laptops? Please!!!Another lady complained that she had been feeling constant tremors in her high rise apartment and that they were annoying….How inconsiderate of the quake….
I guess towards the epicenter ,it was a bit more stronger with things falling off but we had things falling off here too..But there has been no casualties so far…So please, don’t quake with fear…and like my macho hubby put it "hehe..I have seen bigger ones...and quite a few of em. "...huh...u didnt think a tiny quake cud scare him,did ya?Sigh!My hero.( Author smiling fondly and fluttering her lashes)
At office, everyone stood up and grinned goofily at each other. (and I thought I was the only nutcase around.) A bunch of females provided the drama needed with a lot of squealing. Our fire warden wandered about telling people to get under their table if something falls from the ceiling. Call me dumb but I fail to see the point of getting under the table after u get conked on the head.Isnt it better to get underneath the table before it happens?Chuckle.But again that’s my not-so-humble opinion. And no, we did not all scamper outside as we are supposed to do. And don’t ask me why. It seemed safer to get under our desks…Besides it lasted for something like 3 secs.
All fone lines were down including the mobile fones.And then a bunch of gloomy pessimists started on abt how earthquakes are gonna be the trend (trend?like oversized glasses are the trend?)and how L.A is doomed. I tried to read up a bit on LA earthquakes and when the next one is predicted and I had to stop cos some of the things I read were really hilarious. One person suggested that when an earthquake is imminent, the water in wells will rise. What do they suggest? That we sit on the edge of a well with our laptops? Please!!!Another lady complained that she had been feeling constant tremors in her high rise apartment and that they were annoying….How inconsiderate of the quake….
I guess towards the epicenter ,it was a bit more stronger with things falling off but we had things falling off here too..But there has been no casualties so far…So please, don’t quake with fear…and like my macho hubby put it "hehe..I have seen bigger ones...and quite a few of em. "...huh...u didnt think a tiny quake cud scare him,did ya?Sigh!My hero.( Author smiling fondly and fluttering her lashes)
Friday, July 25, 2008
A sequel to the 2-minute judge.
A funny looking pig I made for the hubby.The 2-minute judge’s latest remark is abt how he hates his Onsite coordinator for 2 reasons, one, that she is a woman (what a jerk!); two, she is younger to him and yet in a higher position of authority. I dunno if this guy even knows a thing abt the company hierarchy. People at Onsite are no higher in terms of authority than folks at offshore. We are merely Onsite counterparts of the offshore team. It’s a different matter that we assign work since we are directly dealing with the client and wud take the heat if something went wrong.Please! Give me a break…As much as I am tempted to put up the below post on our company blog,I have decided its not worth the trouble it wud cause my friends and neither is the loser worth it. For one, he does not read blogs, and even if he does, I don’t think he is going to have a life changing moment of awareness and change his opinions. He might be a tad abashed but being the unreasonable man he has proved himself to be, he is only going to blame the people involved. Thinking in terms of the rewards and losses, as my hubby rightly put it, neither is a company big shot going to take any action without investigating the people involved and I wud have to reveal my sources which am most definitely not willing to.
There are many men out there who carry this kind of women-are-dung attitude with pride but I can’t blame them cos it has to have come from their upbringing. No man who has been properly brought up can ever be so prejudiced against women and make such outrageous statements. But even as my thoughts dwell on such scum, I cannot help but remember all those decent men who are very courteous, kind, sensible and man enuf to treat a woman as an equal. To all the women out there, please don’t make a sweeping statement about how all men are the same. They are not. Do not judge the entire gender based upon the unfair views of one silly little man or a few dumb men who don’t know any better. They are not worth our time. I keep calling the judge little man cos that’s how small he is. So what do we do abt such people? Well, personally, I believe that such men are busy puffing themselves up and tying to get some attention with their grand statements. Zoë’s first instinct was to smack the man right across his silly face and so was mine. But I believe that it wud hit the mark more if we refused to take him seriously and behaved as though his statements were the funniest thing we ever heard. What cud annoy a man more when he embarks on a lecture on what he considers a disgrace to the society and the people around him laugh their heads off? So if someone makes such a statement, instead of retorting, look at him with all the expressions that cud cross ur face when u meet a total weirdo. It helps if u practice in front of a mirror (and u are not allowed to practice with me in mind.No! Absolutely not!).
Or you can pretend that he just farted, sniff suspiciously a couple of times, and give him an incredulous disgusted look and hurry away. That shud atleast serve in keeping the guy occupied with worrying abt whether he stinks.:-)See…lots of surefire remedies. Besides life is too short. Why waste time on such bozos?
Finally, lets all put up our paws and cloven hooves (as only cows, cats and pigs can) and pray that we never have the misfortune of working with people like the Judge.
There are many men out there who carry this kind of women-are-dung attitude with pride but I can’t blame them cos it has to have come from their upbringing. No man who has been properly brought up can ever be so prejudiced against women and make such outrageous statements. But even as my thoughts dwell on such scum, I cannot help but remember all those decent men who are very courteous, kind, sensible and man enuf to treat a woman as an equal. To all the women out there, please don’t make a sweeping statement about how all men are the same. They are not. Do not judge the entire gender based upon the unfair views of one silly little man or a few dumb men who don’t know any better. They are not worth our time. I keep calling the judge little man cos that’s how small he is. So what do we do abt such people? Well, personally, I believe that such men are busy puffing themselves up and tying to get some attention with their grand statements. Zoë’s first instinct was to smack the man right across his silly face and so was mine. But I believe that it wud hit the mark more if we refused to take him seriously and behaved as though his statements were the funniest thing we ever heard. What cud annoy a man more when he embarks on a lecture on what he considers a disgrace to the society and the people around him laugh their heads off? So if someone makes such a statement, instead of retorting, look at him with all the expressions that cud cross ur face when u meet a total weirdo. It helps if u practice in front of a mirror (and u are not allowed to practice with me in mind.No! Absolutely not!).
Or you can pretend that he just farted, sniff suspiciously a couple of times, and give him an incredulous disgusted look and hurry away. That shud atleast serve in keeping the guy occupied with worrying abt whether he stinks.:-)See…lots of surefire remedies. Besides life is too short. Why waste time on such bozos?
Finally, lets all put up our paws and cloven hooves (as only cows, cats and pigs can) and pray that we never have the misfortune of working with people like the Judge.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
A “2-minute Judge” and a bunch of baloney.
Very rarely am I inclined to write on any serious subjects. Normally I like to write abt whatever goes through my mind, crazy or otherwise. Recently I was so amazed by an incident at one of our offices in India that I have to write about it .It all started with an obnoxious funny little man and a close friend of mine at one of our company offices. My friend is very popular, outspoken, possesses excellent communication skills and is blessed with a crazy sense of humour which has everyone around falling in love with her. Coming back to the dear (ugh!)man who has unknowingly offended my sensibilities, the “2 minute judge” (based on his claim that he can judge the character of a person within 2 min of setting his eyes on them.Really! Wow!Aren't we a genius!) is the lead of a project and my friend’s friend is working on his team.
My friend, lets call her Zoë, went to meet her friend, Jane, for a cup of coffee. Jane was not in her seat and before leaving Zoe stopped to talk to another friend of her’s, Bobby, who is on the same team,. Zoë teased Bobby as friends are bound to and the entire conversation was in English. This apparently offended our “2 minute judge” and when Jane returned to her seat, she was subjected to a long lecture on the follies of Zoe and here is the Judge’s final ruling on Zoë’s crimes. Guilty on the below counts
1) The judge has spent 4 years at Onsite and yet speaks Tamil at office. Zoë apparently has committed the crime of conversing in English which according to the judge she has no reason to.
2) My friend, inspite of being a girl, walks tall and speaks loud and clear. According to the judge, this is unprofessional and women should walk with their heads bowed, rarely open their mouths and should be seen and not heard..
3) Women should not speak in front of 4 men. Women should not tease their friends, male or female. .Otherwise they will not have career growth. Managers do not like women who talk cos managers want people who don’t talk.
Ha ha ha!!! How funny!!!(Author has tears streaming down her face) Priceless! You are such a funny little man!
Wait a minute,the 2 minute judge was absolutely serious abt all this and even accused Jane of not trying to restrict Zoe’s exuberance.The fact that Jane has known Zoe for 5 years is irrelevant in the face of the 2 minute Judge’s expertise at reading characters like slogans on the wall.
I still am flabbergasted as I write this post. For the life of me I cannot believe that here is a man who acts as a team lead, whose wife works in the same company and he actually had the temerity to say such things standing in a corporate office?Pray,tell me, are we allowed to speak in front of 5 men? Or is the number purely restricted to 4? How abt speaking in front of women? Are we allowed to do that, irrespective of the count? In fact why don’t we start recruiting some cows and cats and pigs? After all, am sure they will definitely keep their mouths shut in front of 4 men. Can’t go after birds, can we, since they keep chirping all the time. Very unprofessional creatures!(Author shaking her head sagely)
And I suppose u are aware that we are a global corporate and not limited to a stuffy office in a side street of T.Nagar.That means that there are people across the globe who work for this company and very sadly,I remind you that not all of them can speak Tamil and as professionals, we are expected to communicate in a language that people from different parts of the country can follow. I have absolutely nothing against Tamil and speak the language fluently myself. But do tell me, precisely how did u communicate with the client when u were at Onsite? In Tamil?......“Tambi, yenna solrae? Business requirement Okva?”…..Thunk!!! And there faints the client.
And as for managers liking women who keep their mouths glued shut, ROFL!!!My husband just fell off his chair laughing. I can just imagine a manager interviewing me get mighty impressed as I sit there dumbly with my head bowed ,twirling the end of my duppatta,while he throws question after question at me.Wow!!He is gonna beg me to join his company.
Me : Dumbly shaking my head with my head bowed and my neck permanently bent.
Manager : ”Please , Anu,please.We need more dumb people like you in our company…um-uh..and I mean that literally”
Huh!!More likely he will throw his shoe at me, pull at his hair in frustration and cry, “Speak, woman, For God’s sake, speak!”.And show me one manager, dude, who has a problem with a smart professional woman and I will show u a company that is going to the dogs. It simply did not occur to u that there are a number of managers in our company who happen to be women,did it?
Being a woman, albeit not a feminist, this incident had me outraged to the point of starting to write a scathing post. But then as I began the post, I cooled down enuf to see the funny side of it. Make no mistake abt this. I have nothing against men and I have worked with several awesome men and admire them. But I do object to such obnoxious men. Worse, I pity them for their caveman attitude even when they work in a software company. Call urself a professional, do ya? And u have the cheek to say a woman who talks well is unprofessional. Piffle! and balderdash! U belong farther back than the age of cavemen…You have to have come from the age of the dinos.
And the funniest part of the whole story? The 2-minute noodles…umm…I mean, the 2 minute Judge had a love marriage .Huh? Don’t ask me what his wife was thinking!!
My friend, lets call her Zoë, went to meet her friend, Jane, for a cup of coffee. Jane was not in her seat and before leaving Zoe stopped to talk to another friend of her’s, Bobby, who is on the same team,. Zoë teased Bobby as friends are bound to and the entire conversation was in English. This apparently offended our “2 minute judge” and when Jane returned to her seat, she was subjected to a long lecture on the follies of Zoe and here is the Judge’s final ruling on Zoë’s crimes. Guilty on the below counts
1) The judge has spent 4 years at Onsite and yet speaks Tamil at office. Zoë apparently has committed the crime of conversing in English which according to the judge she has no reason to.
2) My friend, inspite of being a girl, walks tall and speaks loud and clear. According to the judge, this is unprofessional and women should walk with their heads bowed, rarely open their mouths and should be seen and not heard..
3) Women should not speak in front of 4 men. Women should not tease their friends, male or female. .Otherwise they will not have career growth. Managers do not like women who talk cos managers want people who don’t talk.
Ha ha ha!!! How funny!!!(Author has tears streaming down her face) Priceless! You are such a funny little man!
Wait a minute,the 2 minute judge was absolutely serious abt all this and even accused Jane of not trying to restrict Zoe’s exuberance.The fact that Jane has known Zoe for 5 years is irrelevant in the face of the 2 minute Judge’s expertise at reading characters like slogans on the wall.
I still am flabbergasted as I write this post. For the life of me I cannot believe that here is a man who acts as a team lead, whose wife works in the same company and he actually had the temerity to say such things standing in a corporate office?Pray,tell me, are we allowed to speak in front of 5 men? Or is the number purely restricted to 4? How abt speaking in front of women? Are we allowed to do that, irrespective of the count? In fact why don’t we start recruiting some cows and cats and pigs? After all, am sure they will definitely keep their mouths shut in front of 4 men. Can’t go after birds, can we, since they keep chirping all the time. Very unprofessional creatures!(Author shaking her head sagely)
And I suppose u are aware that we are a global corporate and not limited to a stuffy office in a side street of T.Nagar.That means that there are people across the globe who work for this company and very sadly,I remind you that not all of them can speak Tamil and as professionals, we are expected to communicate in a language that people from different parts of the country can follow. I have absolutely nothing against Tamil and speak the language fluently myself. But do tell me, precisely how did u communicate with the client when u were at Onsite? In Tamil?......“Tambi, yenna solrae? Business requirement Okva?”…..Thunk!!! And there faints the client.
And as for managers liking women who keep their mouths glued shut, ROFL!!!My husband just fell off his chair laughing. I can just imagine a manager interviewing me get mighty impressed as I sit there dumbly with my head bowed ,twirling the end of my duppatta,while he throws question after question at me.Wow!!He is gonna beg me to join his company.
Me : Dumbly shaking my head with my head bowed and my neck permanently bent.
Manager : ”Please , Anu,please.We need more dumb people like you in our company…um-uh..and I mean that literally”
Huh!!More likely he will throw his shoe at me, pull at his hair in frustration and cry, “Speak, woman, For God’s sake, speak!”.And show me one manager, dude, who has a problem with a smart professional woman and I will show u a company that is going to the dogs. It simply did not occur to u that there are a number of managers in our company who happen to be women,did it?
Being a woman, albeit not a feminist, this incident had me outraged to the point of starting to write a scathing post. But then as I began the post, I cooled down enuf to see the funny side of it. Make no mistake abt this. I have nothing against men and I have worked with several awesome men and admire them. But I do object to such obnoxious men. Worse, I pity them for their caveman attitude even when they work in a software company. Call urself a professional, do ya? And u have the cheek to say a woman who talks well is unprofessional. Piffle! and balderdash! U belong farther back than the age of cavemen…You have to have come from the age of the dinos.
And the funniest part of the whole story? The 2-minute noodles…umm…I mean, the 2 minute Judge had a love marriage .Huh? Don’t ask me what his wife was thinking!!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Ramble on,darlings!!!
Bingo!!…It’s a gorgeous day, ladies and gentlemen…Not just a beautiful day. What’s the difference u may ask. Let me tell u .A beautiful day is one which makes u sigh and look around and say “Mmmmmm”…a gorgeous day makes u want to clap, jump for joy and do cartwheels on the lawn…lie down in the grass and kick ur legs in the air,twirl on the foothpath,blow a kiss at the sky and in general,make a fool of urself…which really is not such a bad thing…It’s a day with oomph!! The kind of day which makes u want to dance like baloo the bear in Jungle book singing “Doobi doobi doobi”,even with ur 2 left feet and tail,make a lot of noise and try to stop urself grinning from ear to ear….chuckle…by now most of u wud have written me off as bonkers….
Anup already has.Lol!
Its the perfect time to be in LA.There is this road behind our office bordered with lilac trees.You find urself driving down a tunnel of lilacs.Not one spec of green.U look up and see a roof of lilacs above u.You look down and the road is sprinkled with lilacs.Oh, the folks who live on that lane,it must just make their day to walk on that lilac carpet under the lilac canopy.Anup says they wud be bored of seeing it every day.Huh!!Bored? Its breathtakingly beautiful.How in God’s name can u be bored of that?Its just unspeakably delightful.Had it been me stepping out of one of those houses, I wud have stood at my doorstep and stared for a full ten minutes around me before I trot off to office, rather regretfully ,am sure.Its just beautiful.I must take a picture of it before the lilacs fade.
Today when we stepped out for lunch,I just happened to look up and was surprised to see the alphabets WELCO in the sky written with what looked like clouds.Then it hit.It was one of those planes which did some kind of writing with smoke in the sky,Pretty expensive , but its used in a lot of advertising.But as u can guess,I just had to stand and gawp at it.And so did my poor hubbu,though the truth be told, he really had no choice cos I was not budging.
It turned out to be the message “WELCOME HOME TORI & DEAN”.I imagine it was done by some of their friends…2 hrs later when I sat in my cubicle and looked out of the window,I saw the words float outside like some kind of banner.They moved across my window ,as though flashing on the TV screen.I have these huge glass windows which look up into the sky .They normally have it covered with Venetian blinds,but last week when my boss was on vacation, I opened up a couple of them and he still has not noticed.Can u believe the man?It almost makes u feel u are outside in the open and not stuck in a stuffy room and the man does not notice.?I do feel sorry for him.From my seat, I can see a tall fir tree ,the tops of a few palms waving in the wind and a lilac tree along with them.They look so free,like kids during their summer vacation, like kites in the air.
Have started a new hobby. Crocheting… and it turned out to be much easier than I thought..Oh yeah,I bought a beginners kit and some bright coloured wool called Tangerine twists..I love the name…and I love how the scarf is turning out even though its edges are pretty wonky…Am just not in a mood to sit in office..I wud love to get out there,grab my crochet kit and sit outside under a nice tree and enjoy myself..Oh,dear..why can’t we have summer holidays too…
Anup already has.Lol!
Its the perfect time to be in LA.There is this road behind our office bordered with lilac trees.You find urself driving down a tunnel of lilacs.Not one spec of green.U look up and see a roof of lilacs above u.You look down and the road is sprinkled with lilacs.Oh, the folks who live on that lane,it must just make their day to walk on that lilac carpet under the lilac canopy.Anup says they wud be bored of seeing it every day.Huh!!Bored? Its breathtakingly beautiful.How in God’s name can u be bored of that?Its just unspeakably delightful.Had it been me stepping out of one of those houses, I wud have stood at my doorstep and stared for a full ten minutes around me before I trot off to office, rather regretfully ,am sure.Its just beautiful.I must take a picture of it before the lilacs fade.
Today when we stepped out for lunch,I just happened to look up and was surprised to see the alphabets WELCO in the sky written with what looked like clouds.Then it hit.It was one of those planes which did some kind of writing with smoke in the sky,Pretty expensive , but its used in a lot of advertising.But as u can guess,I just had to stand and gawp at it.And so did my poor hubbu,though the truth be told, he really had no choice cos I was not budging.
It turned out to be the message “WELCOME HOME TORI & DEAN”.I imagine it was done by some of their friends…2 hrs later when I sat in my cubicle and looked out of the window,I saw the words float outside like some kind of banner.They moved across my window ,as though flashing on the TV screen.I have these huge glass windows which look up into the sky .They normally have it covered with Venetian blinds,but last week when my boss was on vacation, I opened up a couple of them and he still has not noticed.Can u believe the man?It almost makes u feel u are outside in the open and not stuck in a stuffy room and the man does not notice.?I do feel sorry for him.From my seat, I can see a tall fir tree ,the tops of a few palms waving in the wind and a lilac tree along with them.They look so free,like kids during their summer vacation, like kites in the air.
Have started a new hobby. Crocheting… and it turned out to be much easier than I thought..Oh yeah,I bought a beginners kit and some bright coloured wool called Tangerine twists..I love the name…and I love how the scarf is turning out even though its edges are pretty wonky…Am just not in a mood to sit in office..I wud love to get out there,grab my crochet kit and sit outside under a nice tree and enjoy myself..Oh,dear..why can’t we have summer holidays too…
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