My crazy musings

One day God had just finished putting the nuts and matching bolts on his latest little creations and wiping his fair brow with his hand, he told his angel “Go get me the one from the warehouse”. The angel replied “But my Lord, You never put any of them in the warehouse. Once they are done, you send them along to the dispatcher storks.” God replied “Well, last week I had a bit of a problem with the shipment. That Devil sent me one bolt short and I could not tighten the nut on that little one. I left the Devil a few messages on his blackberry telling him that I wanted an explanation”. Angel asks” What did he say?”. God replies with an amused smile “Well, He said that he had sent the correct number and that he suspected that St.Peter had nicked one for himself. Says Peter has been behaving oddly ever since that book Da Vinci Code was published”

God roused himself out of his musings, frowning and told the angel “Now run along without dilly dallying or I am gonna send you out to help the testers in Farmer’s team”.
Needless to say, the angel scrambled in the direction of the warehouse shuddering at the thought of the Farmer’s team.

In the warehouse, the angel found the little one propped up in a corner. She had not yet had her mechanism started. The angel carried her carefully back to God. God picked up one of the bolts and proceeded with his golden spanner to the job at hand. An hour later, having tried all the bolts in his tool box, God exclaimed in dismay “None of the bolts fit her, Oh dear!” The angel asked anxiously “Shall I take her back to the warehouse?” God shook his head “No. She is already a week late. Tonight she has to go. Her mom has already eaten a lot of chicken and mangoes tonight and I decided that this would be the perfect day to send her. Never mind. She may be a bit different from the others but she will learn to fend for herself. Now run and make sure she reaches the dispatchers”

The angel gave a quick nod and took off helter skelter to the edge of heavens where the storks were ready to take off each carrying a bundle in their big beaks.”Oh dear, none of the dispatchers are free. God would be so furious with me if I missed to dispatch this one”. He asked the oldest stork called Patchie “Patchie, This one has to go today. Would you take her down for me?”Patchie looks at him scornfully. The angel says slyly “Well, If you do, then I can make sure that you miss your crab duty this month”.Patchie shudders. The idea of not having to have his slender neck caught between a pair of crab claws was definitely worth carrying the extra load. God had made crab duty mandatory ever since He caught a couple of storks flipping a blindfolded crab about after tricking him into playing Blind man’s Bluff with them.

Patchie looked at the angel and nodded .He opened his mouth a little bit and the angel carefully looped the handle of the bundle around his beak.Patchie blinked twice and waddled to the edge of heavens swaying under the extra load. The angel looked worried and started to call out “Carefu…..” when Patchie lost his balance and toppled over the edge!!

Only the thought of crab claws around his neck kept Patchie from dropping his extra burden right down to earth. Flapping his wings hard against the wind, he flew towards the earth Four hours later having delivered one bundle, Patchie flapped his wings wearily struggling to not drop his burden. He knew the angel would not take kindly to him if he dropped the bundle half way to its real destination. The sun would be up in a few minutes.Patchie felt himself being pulled towards earth ….alas, instead of setting the bundle down carefully at its destination, poor Patchie dropped it!!!

“Aaaaaaaaaaarghhhh…aaaaaa!!!” the mama-to-be screamed so loudly that poppa-to-be fell off the bed in fright. He stood up in the dark and looked around wildly for the thief. “My tummy hurts” wailed the poor mama-to-be. Poppa-to-be looked at her in consternation and muttered under his breath “should have thought of all this when you were gobbling up mangoes and chicken as though it was your last meal”.”Whaaaat!!!”wailed mama-to-be. “Nothing nothing…” he said and hurried to get her to the wise old doctor who lived down the street.

The wise old doctor put on his glasses and poked mama-to-be on all sides .Finally with a loud triumphant “Aha..!” he pulled out from her tummy the bundle Patchie had dropped .

“Waaaaaah!” wailed the bundle and the wise old doctor hurriedly handed over the bundle to the poppa. Poppa opened up the bundle in wonder to find a tiny baby looking up at him with black eyes. And when the baby smiled, he cried out in delight “why, she has such a nice dimple!”


…….and to all you dorks out there who still have not figured it out, that baby’s name was Anupama.Gotcha…!!!