Last post of the year!

An end of the year post is due.And since I cant seem to think of one sensible topic to write about,I decided to simply follow my uncensored thought process and see where it leads me.
Last night,the hubby woke up and sleepily stared up at a monster brandishing a club which gave out sparks in the dark.Even worse the club seemed to be flying extremely close to his person.The man jumped out of his bed, yowling in fear and ran right out of the door,onto the street and all the way to Jamaica,screaming blue murder.:D

Ok..I’ll admit.He didnt.But the thought just popped into my head and was too funny to resist.And its in keeping with my new resolution to see something funny in everyday and if I dont find anything,I shall imagine something funny.But am telling you the man did wake up and see something that looked like a monster wielding a club.It just happened to be his crazy wife who was waving the electric mosquito bat (dont know if thats what its called but lets call it Sparky.Sounds much more friendlier considering the important role it plays in my life)and muttering curses at the danged mosquitoes which bother her every night.Honestly,there is something very satisfying when you manage to nab a mosquito with Sparky and it makes an exploding noise.Sounds like “SWAAAT!” and the mosquito fried.Aaah! I relish it.To any mosquito lover(nothing surprises me these days),it may seem quite callous of me to take pleasure in a poor tiny helpless mosquito (my big fat Foot!) dying a sad death by Sparky.I wont apologise.

By the way I made “Puttu” today for lunch.And it came out perfectly…Ooooooh…How exciting!…The sad part is that DH is not very fond of Puttu.Oh,he eats it,alright.But it doesnt make him excited.Its just “oh,puttu?Right” and not “oooooooooh,u made puttu?Clever wifey!Should get you some diamonds”. Huh!But am still quite proud of myself.It was good puttu.And …err..since I made a little extra,we are having it for dinner too. :-).Please pray that DH doesnt notice.Anyway,I have decided to consider it as one of my key acheivements of the year.And pizza I made last week was yet another one….And I made it from the scratch;the dough for the base,the sauce,every damn thing.The only thing I didnt do was grow my own veggies for it.Mushroom dum biriyani,puris,bread pudding,coriander rice,egg biriyani,cant remember the rest.But thats ok.There are some major ones like finally liking oats(can you hear my mom hooting? :s).And of course making curds…..!

I love curds…Not the messy kind which has lots of little yucky bits and pieces floating around in whey and makes you feel quite sorry for it.But the thick creamy white kind…which you can scoop up with a spoon and pretend that you are a mighty sea monster eating a tiny iceberg..mmmmmmm..ok…Lets not get carried away…but ….sigh…you got to admit that curds are yummy…and to those few people who refuse to eat curds for the reason that its white and they cant stand eating anything thats white in colour,I ask this.Err..you’d eat it if it was dung green?!!

One of the things I completely loved in US was the yoghurt in tubs you got to buy there.Considering we started our married life there,we soon got into the habit of having curds with almost every other meal.In terms of curds,that was the bestest period of my life.And so when we came back to India,we were sadly deprived of curds.Once in a while,the Goddess of Curds(has to be a goddes cos I dont think any God could make it :p) would smile upon us and we would chance upon a cup of Nestle curds at the nearby Reliance Fresh store.(I still dont know why they cant have it in stock more often instead of once in 4 months.Really!)And we would eat it reverently trying to make it last as long as we could.And so one fine day,as I lamented that the yummy stuff was almost gone ,the DH had a brainwave and said “Why dont you make curds?”.
Yeah ,right.Now lets clarify things a bit.He thought he had had a brainwave.I most certainly didnt think so considering I was the one who had to make it and if I knew how, I would have done so long ago and wouldnt be hanging around waiting for him to realise that making curds must be included under the “wifely duties” clause on the marriage contract.I hadnt even tried to make curds for the fear of ending up the with the messy kind of curds.I could have told him so but then how do u look the man in the eye while he stands there radiating pride at having come up with such a great idea based on the sole conviction that his super-wife can do anything?It takes thicker skin than mine to look at him then and say “Sorry,I havnt a clue”.So I told him rather lamely “But you need a little curds to begin with”.And DH exclaimed triumphantly “but …there are a couple of spoonfuls left in the Nestle cup!!”.
Damn! I knew I should have finished it up the previous night.Me: “Err…am not sure how to make curds”DH: “You dont know how to make curds??”Me: “No” .DH: “It should be easy”
Yeah,right! Then you make it.Glared at him.
Me:”Shall google”
DH recognised all danger signals and backed down.
DH:”Yeah.thats a good idea.You the best”Me: “Really?You think so?”( Melting into a big gooey puddle)DH: “Of course.”
And so I batted my eyelashes at him,asked mommy(very important),made curds and googled just to make sure there was nothing else I could do to ensure thick curds. :).And yeah,of course,the curds came out exactly the way I wanted it to.(Patting self on the back)Thick and creamy.What?You had doubts abt that? :-O

Apart from all that I cooked,lets see what else I acheived.We are talking strictly about personal life.To list my professional acheivments here would be quite pointless considering you know nothing about my project.Telling you that I automated SCL building would be equivalent to telling you I am trying to stand on my head.You wouldnt know why I bother, dont you think?Hmm…*-) .Coming back to my personal acheivements,I became a designer.(blushes).Of exactly what? Erm…lets just say “characters” for now.Am not ready yet to unveil that side of talented me.(And you dare not have any doubts about me being talented!) Maybe sometime later this year.Am working on an experiment.Not sure if I will succeed.But I think I can if I give it my best shot..And that probably is an important goal for 2010.Am going all out with this one and its scary when I stop to think about it.I rarely make resolutions at the beginning of a year.But for some reason,this year seems special.Cos am rediscovering a lot of things about me? Maybe.
And on that cryptic note,I wish you all (and myself, ofcourse!) a very very very happy,prosperous and exciting new year and may you all learn to love yourself.Cos if you dont love your mad nutty half brained self,then who will? Cheers,people and lets ring in the new year with a booty dance !!!

To be or not to be?Sane,that is.

Its so much fun to be happy,isnt it?and so much nicer than being gloomy and worrying about mundane stuff like how your socks dont match your shoes and how xxx has lovely hair while ur own is falling out in clumps…:-)Am in a reflective mood…Can u tell?Maybe its cos of christmas……or maybe cos I just finished making a christmas gift for someone and it was a risk cos they may think its totally weird…or maybe cos the year is coming to an end.And looking back..when I tried to describe how 2009 has been,I couldnt.Dont know why…maybe cos I know I spent the better part of the year worrying…chuckle….who am I kidding…I spent the whole year worrying except maybe the last few days….

But thats ok..cos am not planning to go that way..I spent so much time worrying about things that I needed to do instead of actually doing them.Not anymore…I forgot the basic rule I lived by…Seeing the funny side in every situation…and remembering that life is too short for me to be worrying about the program code not working when am in the loo…that I need to sniff at a nice smelling “rubber” once in a way and mentally popping nasty people into white underwear patterned with bright red hearts and make a big time effort to be my loony old self…and that,my dear darling people,will be my resolution for the new year..In fact I have already started practising it so that I wud have perfected the art by the time we ring the new year in.
In the last 6 months the more I tried to be a sane balanced adult ,the more crazy life became…Or maybe my being sane was not conducive to surviving my crazy life .That makes sense…and honestly,I was so bloody bored with myself ….My life was no busier than it had been when I was truly being nuts but it was definitely boring-er…you know what I mean?.While trying to grow up ,I seemed to have forgotten a lot of little things that kept me happy and cheerful.For instance whenever I was sad,I wud look in the mirror and smile at myself…and I looked so funny trying to smile when I really was in no mood to,it wud invariably make me laugh and lighten up….silly but it worked…chuckle.

I spent some time going through the old posts on my external blog (I used to write a lot on that and rarely posted all that on Cog blog )and came across this.

” I recently read something on the internet and it made so much sense that am posting it here.

“We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are. After that we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.
We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.
The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.”

So true. There will never be a best car. There will never be a perfect spouse. There never will be perfect children. Life is rather simple and God only meant us to enjoy it. It’s we who make it complicated and a fight. Maybe if we all sat down and looked at a sunset, half the problems in the world wud be solved. Just imagine. Laden and Bush sharing a sunset together…Inspiring, isn’t it? Chuckle…. ”

Looks like I was more sensible in all my looniness than I thought.Where’s that mirror?and wud u have a nice smelling “rubber”?

Sunglasses and me.

I love sunglasses with a passion and always have ever since I saw some movie in which Hema malini (or some other hindi actress of the 80s) flaunts a pair of darkglasses with white frames.I know.Today white frames seem eeeeeeeeeek or retro depending on how u look at it but back then, my heart's deepest desire was to own a pair of dark glasses with white frames.And we are talking about when I was around 4 or 5 years old.And then like most desires that are born during our childhood,the yearning for dark glasses was buried under more practical prayers .You cant really bother God for dark glasses when you are busy trying to convince him that he should let you scrape through yesterday's exam.Its a matter of priorities,u see.But then the Almighty has always been kind to me.And no,in case you are wondering,I didnt get promoted in the last cycle.But am sure I will get it sometime soon.God's always been kind to me.And am a firm believer in all prayers being answered and some are rightfully answered with a No like the time I prayed for a coconut to fall on the client's head but was then glad it didnt cos he drove me home later that day.See?God does take care of you.And true to that,God did remember my prayer for a pair of dark glasses long after I had forgotten.

I was doing my Masters at Coimbatore and had suddenly developed raging headaches which left me exhausted.So when my folks came for a visit to coimbatore and found me sitting with my head in my hands,they were worried.However,my cousin hit upon the idea that I was wandering about in the blazing summer sun, scrunching my eyes up which caused the headaches.And so we set out to buy a pair of sunglasses.:D.And within a couple of hours,I was the proud owner of a pair of unbranded(if there is such a word) sunglasses which were supposed to be of export quality and cost a royal Rs 350.And somewhere in the land of forgotten memories,a 4 year old was jumping for joy.I was strictly told to wear my new glasses everytime I stepped out into the sun.Chuckle.Parents rarely realise what they subject their children to when they make them do whats good for them.

I sported short hair in those days;a boycut.And 99.999999 percent of the girls in college had hair which was atleast long enough to tie back in a ponytail.Not only was my hair too short for that,but for some unknown reason,the day I had it cut from its hip length glory to the comfortably light headed crop,my hair curled with a vengeance.And when you are taller than average women you naturally stand out but when you resemble a beanpole topped with a mop of curls, bunking classes becomes tuf cos even the most short sighted professor cant possibly mistake those wild curls flying around the corner.:-(And none of the professors in my department even wore glasses.And my folks expected me to walk into that campus everyday wearing sunglasses.Now if my department had been anywhere near the college gate,it wouldnt have been that bad.But then,like I said before,God has a sense of humour.Where else wud my department be but at the farthest corner of the campus.And when you have friends who do not let you "forget" what your folks told you to do,you either have a choice of admitting that you are too chicken to wear the sunglasses or you wear them and walk in with your head held high even though in your heart you may wish that your parents had got you a burkha instead.Dont get me wrong.I loved those glasses and wanted to wear them.And to this day am grateful to that friend who told me in a challenging tone "so wear them".And I wore them.I walked along one of the busiest parts of avinashi road,braving all stares while the wind as usual wreaked havoc on my carefully flattened hair turning it into a mass of madly waving curls. And then we reached college.And I do not exaggerate when I say people stopped and stared.Aaah!!!The attention!.Am telling you that you dont need to be a filmstar to feel like one.You can very well look like a weirdo and still feel like a filmstar.Those people may have looked at me and thought "poor girl,lost her marbles and so young!!" but I told myself that each one of them was jealous of my new glasses and wishing that they had the spunk to sport sunglasses.

I do realise that some people may have thought that I was suffering from "Madras eye" or sore eyes.And then the friend who told me "so wear them" did laugh his head off and say I looked like Karunanidhi.I did not !!! I had a head with thick curly hair and I bet the guy was jealous I could carry it off.I got subjected to a range of comments from "got guts" to "must be nuts"..And come 3:00 pm,we started on our walk back to hostel.And now students standing on the main road and chatting stopped to stare as well.Anyone who missed the morning show sure got in for the matinee.One loser actually had the cheek to step out in my path and ask with a grin "May I help you?".DUH!!!My cold stare had no effect whatsoever on him owing to the fact that he couldnt see my eyes.And so I gave him a sarcastic "No".I continued to wear those glasses for the remainder of college and loved every bit of attention I got.For some reason a girl wearing sun glasses attracts a lot more attention than a guy doing the same.I wonder why..chuckle....soon sunglasses became more of a habit and I was never in the sun without them and I got used to the attention.And I loved those glasses.They were perfect.
I had those glasses till about 2 years ago when I had gone for a trip to Florida.And thats where I lost them.Well,I didnt lose them.A dumb friend of mine who had put them "safely" in his bag while we went off to play in the water,lost them.And I was heartbroken.My dear dear first pair of darkglasses.Being financially independent by then,I got myself another pair,branded ones this time, about a year later but I still miss those glasses which are probably lying somewhere on the beaches of florida.And every pair I have tried on since then have always been mentally compared with those first ones and has never matched up to them.I have had 3 pairs since then,one which were flicked by hubby for his own;To be honest they looked way better on him than they did on me but he managed to lose them and then he was broken hearted.:D Another pair which was flicked by Customs(It disappeared from its case which was in my checked in luggage.How else do you explain that?) on my way back to India from US,and the last one which am still hanging onto and love though not with the same passion that I had for those first pair.I wear them whenever I step out into the sun and its funny to see people staring .What half of them dont seem to realise is that I can see them stare at me though they cant see my eyes.:D
Thank you ,Mama and Poppa.The fact that you bought that first pair for me was the main reason why they were so very special.But I guess u wud have figured that out by now.:D

The power of No!

Last thursday,I was in a meeting with my team lead(TL) and my manager(Apm) and the conversation went something like this.

TL: You have done more than we expected.Very good work indeed.
APM:Yeah
TL:In fact we have had no problems at all
APM: yeah yeah
TL:We know its very difficult without a backup resource.
APM:Yeah yeah
TL:You must train a resource as a backup for you so that he can handle all the work in your absence.This will be your goal for 2010.
Me thinks :My goal for entire 2010 is to train a backup resource?What kind of resource are they giving me???
APM: It will be a partial resource.
Me thinks: Halfbrained??
TL:Yeah
APM:But u cant use him
Me: eh??!!!
TL:Cos client wont agree to using anyone else.
Me thinks:So am getting a halfbrained resource whom I should train for the entire 2010 but not let the guy do any actual work???
Me:How abt a promotion?
TL:We cant say
APM:Yeah
TL:But market is picking up
APM:Yeah
TL:So depending upon company decision.We dont have any news abt it right now
APM:Yeah
Me thinks:Liars!!!

This Thursday,another meeting with the same folks.

TL:You said no to working on saturday
APM:Yeah,yeah.If we ask u have to work.
TL:You told me to tell onsite that u will not stay till 11 tonight as u have been asked to come in at 6 tomorrow morning.Why shud I tell it?
APM:You must do it.
Me:huh?
TL:Tell me .tell me why.I want to know.Tell me.WHY SHUD I TELL THEM?
Me:Well,cos everytime...
TL:TELL ME TELL ME ,MADAM.I WANT TO KNOW
Me:Yes,thats what am saying.The reason....
TL:TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME,I WANT TO KNOW
APM:This is very bad attitude.You are very inflexible and immature
Me :Cos I said No once?
TL:Tell me TELL ME..WHY SHUD I...
APM: ...irrespective of any personal needs,u must work if the project demands it...
Me:But I have always been available .I said No only this one time.
TL:Did we ever ask before?
Me:No.cos u didnt....
TL:TELL ME TELL ME.I WANT TO KNOW .TELL ME MADAM.
Me:......cos I was....
APM:Very bad
Me:... always available.
TL:TELL ME TELL,WHY SHUD I TELL ONSITE,TELL ME
Me:thats what am trying to....
TL:YES YES.TELL ME TELL ME.COME ON,TELL ME.
Me:I am trying to tell you.Please listen for a minute.
TL:We are wasting time going over it again and again.We are very flexible and mature and you shud also be flexible with us.In future we will expect us all to be flexible and mature.
Me:Ok
End of Meeting.

So within a week,from being a great resource I went to being an inflexible,unreliable,immature resource.And all cos I said No???Hmmm....Interesting....Some people cannot handle a No.:D
Moral of the story : People are entitled to their opinions,even stupid opinions.Does not mean that I have to agree with them just cos they are my superiors.But dont tell them you dont agree either.Just listen quietly and then go back to doing what you do.You may get a poor performance rating and no promotion.But frankly,after 5 years in this company,my priorities have changed.I get a decent pay which I intend to enjoy.Not wreck my life trying to earn more and more and more.
And to be honest,I did pop them both into white underwear patterned with red hearts and had to keep resisting an urge to giggle.Chuckle!!!

My keys are missing…

… and other stories from the nuthouse I call home.

Home is were the heart is.My client and lots of other ppl in US cudnt understand my insistence that I need to go home cos that’s where my heart is.To them it made sense that my heart was with the DH and if the DH came back to US,my heart wud be where I am and then I wud stick around till the end of eternity.Yeah….Portable hearts are the latest fad.They still believe that if DH had hung around ,I wud have stayed too….and most of them sent me off saying “Come back soon” and what broke my heart was the fact that they really meant it.Its a different matter that all of them wud be happily going abt with their lives now and no one wud really have much time to miss me.Its one of the things abt ur life in US.When someone is leaving,ur heart breaks;u are overcome by nostalgia;The very next day someone else wud be sitting in the same seat and in less than 2 hours u forget that a person who had been a dear friend has really left the country.I am yet to make up my mind abt whether it is a boon or a blessing.Its a different matter that I still miss some of them.But then that’s cos am a sentimental old fool.

Coming back to the point (and no,the point was not that am a fool),even when DH was beside me in US,there were times when I expressed a desperate wish to go home.More often than not,it wud be when I was neck deep in the lil puzzles life throw at us,floundering amidst the sea of bits and pieces which demanded that I put them together at top speed.At such dark moments,the one wish from the bottom of my heart has been to be back on my bed at home with my dog.I always claimed that if I cud just go home once,then I wud be able to handle it all.and I stick to my claim.Anyone reading this must by now have conjured up a picture of me sitting reverently at the feet of my sagely father and my wise mother,who are patiently giving out gyaan on solving the riddles of life,while the dog loudly proclaims to all and sundry who pass that way,that here is heaven on earth.Well,the dog is right.Not if u picture heaven to be a place with God sitting quietly on his throne while angels sing serenely around him.But then as Alice said,lets begin at the beginning.

I am still searching for the one word that wud describe my home.And I seriously suspect am gonna have to settle on cartoon.Today morning began with mama pouncing on me to wake me up,scaring the living daylights outta me and then when I sat up blinking, laughed saying “Buntu also reacted the same way”.Yeah,I’d like to see someone opening just one eye,peeking out and then beaming at her and jumping out of bed to shower her with rose petals.Really!And just when I had finally begun to sleep peacefully,dreaming abt my old friends back at onsite instead of the terror filled dark nightmares I kept having abt ppl chasing me when I was back in US.If its not mama,then it’s the dog,who has perfected the art of standing on her hind legs ,and pawing at me.No amount of rolling onto the other side of the bed helps.All u can do is pretend to be a human rolling pin and roll about from one side of the bed to the other until u are fully awake or until u fall off the bed,whichever comes first.And abt 30 minutes after u manage to wearily drag ur bones outta the bed,the dog curls up and goes to sleep,considering she has done all she can be expected to do to earn her keep.Any indignation on ur part is met by “I-am-only-a-dumb-dog.How-can-you-do-this-to-me” expression which she has managed to perfect.
I imagine it must have taken her ages in front of the dressing table mirror to do that.
She paws me everytime I eat or drink anything.Be it mealtimes or otherwise.And if I ignore her then she stares at me with the most indignant expression as though to say “U oaf.Dont u know mama said we must share everything cos we are sisters?Am entitled to an equal share of everything that goes into ur mouth irrespective of the difference in our sizes”.The pawing becomes more insistent if I keep ignoring her.She practically tries to dig a trench in my arm until I give up and share.And she doesn’t consider herself a mere dog who shud be grateful for any crumb that comes her way.No,siree,not her!For instance today morning she kept pawing me while I drank my coffee….For pete’s sake,dog,am only drinking coffee.So I took a slice of bread and offered it to her.She sniffed it,turned her head away,did an about turn and literally stalked away.And if u think it ends there,u are wrong.She stood 3 metres away looking at me and when I continued reading the paper,she came right back and put her head on my lap.Call me a sucker for those melting chocolate eyes but I offered her the bread again and this time she repeated the whole performance minus sniffing at the bread.We went thru the routine 4 times after which she wrote me off as one mean sister and decided to go see mama.The dog!!!
After drinking the coffee made by mama(she still makes the best coffee in the world after my aunt),I wud have just managed to con myself into believing that am gonna laze around and have a nice time chatting with mama and the dog when mama turns up like a whirlwind and demands that I bathe,or tidy up the table,or do her feet,or massage her head or something else.(My client thinks am a multitasking wonder.Now he knows I was trained from birth)Or she’ll comment on how the back of ur neck is black or that u don’t wash the behind of ur ears or that ur eyebrows look funny and how she wishes u wud do something abt it.If she doesn’t want u to do anything then she gives u a long list of instructions for the maid cos she is off to her painting class.And woe betide u if u forget any of it.She’ll remind u that u forgot it for the rest of ur living days.Half her sentences begin with “I told u to do this and u forgot”.Like Anup once told me when I accused him of the same,mama, u tell me so many things that I cant remember them all.And trust me,when I say that the maid doesn’t help one bit.Just when u are beaming in pride at having successfully remembered to tell her that she has to soak the rice for dosa batter in water,fry the fish,and cut the veggies,she manages to throw u off track by asking weird questions like “in hot water or cold water?Are u sure the fish is to be fried?Shud I fry all of it?What abt rice?Shud I make it or will mama make it?Can u ring up mama and ask?”
And if am stupid enuf to ring up mama and ask her that,well,here is the standard reply.”Don’t u know even this?Even though u are 27 years old?Thats what we do everyday”.Um…then why doesn’t the maid who has been here for more than a year know it?I personally find it safer to tell the maid, “Don’t fry all of the fish.Just fry the head and the tail.We can put the rest of it back in the sea.As for the rice,u can fry that too.Or we can eat it just as it is.Thats how I ate it in US.”And then when mama comes home,I hide under the bed.Good fun.

Did I mention that mama really was a unique baby?Apparently when she was born,she was wearing a chef’s hat, wielding a saucepan in one hand,holding a pen,a compass and a paint brush in the other and instead of wailing,she calmly recited the multiplication tables while the doctor gaped and my grandmother crowed in delight.I was born similarly minus the chef’s hat,saucepan,pen,compass,paintbrush and the gaping doctor.And instead of multiplication tables,I just wailed what was my version of Madonna’s first album.I’ll admit am a perennial disappointment and if u dare suggest it maybe cos mama forgot to swallow the requisite chef’s hat,saucepan,pen,compass,paintbrush and the book of multiplication tables while she was carrying me,on ur head be the consequences.

Normally when Buntu and I come home,mama spends an insane amount of time in the kitchen cooking and baking for us and is so tired out that we feel guilty.So in an effort to get her to relax and spend more time with us and also to keep those pounds off me,even before I left US,I asked mama to not spend all her time in the kitchen cooking for us.Yeah.So now she does not spend the whole day in the kitchen and cooks for maybe a couple of hrs a day.Did I get to spend time with her?Uh-um.Not exactly.When she isn’t cooking,she isn’t home.Yeah,she is off to her painting class with her painting buddies.Or she is on the fone talking to her painting buddies while buntu and I babysit the dog.Bunny also has the additional privilege of escorting her to the painting class and swears she is exacting payment for all the times she took him to school when he was kid.
When I was a kid and mama took me to school,she wud dress me up in a yolk yellow raincoat.I hated the plasticky feel of the thing.But nothing was worse than the cap which she wud button under my chin and in the process of fumbling at the button,pinch me several times under my chin.I always felt like a goose wearing a bonnet.Aw,sure looks cute but the poor goose must have been mighty uncomfortable.No one thinks of that.The cap kept my hair dry though raindrops wud trickle down my face and blur my eyes.I wud be carrying my lunch bag in one hand and the other wud be stuck in mama’s hand.All it took was one annoying rain drop to trickle down my nose and with no hands free to brush it off,I had to resort to rubbing my nose on the wet plastic on my forearms which led to more wet areas on my face.At 4 years of age,it was certainly one of the most trying times of my young life.Maybe I’ll take mama to her class one of these days when its raining and dress her up in a yellow raincoat.

And then there is pops who considers having his kids at home equivalent to having two personal assistants at his beck and call.He has a daughter who can be counted on to trot up and down the stairs to fetch him towels,hankies,socks and what not.All he has to do is call out and glasses of water magically appear when he needs them and honking at the gate repeatedly results in the gate opening by itself and closing as well….He can be in 2 places at the same time courtesy a son who looks exactly like him albeit a few years younger.Yesterday morning he announced that he has misplaced his keys which were apparently kept in a pouch.The dutiful son and daughter hunted in every single place,shook out newspapers and magazines,looked under every rock in sight and even shook the dog to make sure she hadn’t swallowed them.We checked the cars,under the seats and every single place we cud think of.Apparently it was a long pouch which was filled with keys and for the life of me I cudnt understand how it cud go missing.I checked and double checked all the likely places,looked under beds and cupboards,even lifted up mattresses.We searched for the pouch all day long.The long and short of it was that my dad had no clothes to wear cos the keys to his wardrobe were also in the pouch.

Today morning pops asked me to hunt for the duplicate key to his wardrobe in a drawer which had some old rusted keys.And then 2 seconds later I came across a bunch of keys which he usually carries everywhere.Apparently he had begun carrying them also in the same pouch with a bunch of other keys.But the pouch was still missing.As I stared at the keys my mom giggled over my shoulder that those were his keys.And to check,I inserted on in the wardrobe door and it turned easily.Relieved that dad wud atleast have clothes to wear,I opened the door and there ,right in front of my eyes,rested the missing pouch.I nearly exploded.Talk abt a wild goose chase.And as though it wasn’t funny enuf,my mom has this brilliant idea of hiding the pouch from pops…Just for the fun of it,u know.HUH!!!I woke up my brother to inform him that the keys had been found.He was wide awake in a second(poor kid must have been dreaming of the missing keys) and asked me where I found them.When I told him,he sighed,scratched his nose and rolled back to sleep.I havnt been home for the last 18 months but he has been here several times.Something tells me that this must not have been the first wild goose chase he had been set on.

Don’t get me wrong.I loved life in US but I preferred India.If u ask me why I left the comfort of US so that I cud be on the same side of the globe as this nut house,well,I dunno.Maybe cos this is where I really belong.Who wants to be sane when u can have an endless round of laughing,where everyday things as mundane as waking up are made memorable;Who wants the tameness of a planned lifestyle in US,with neat and smooth roads,marked into perfect squares make sure u never lose ur way home,when u can have the thrill of the impromptu;roundabout lanes which never end up where u think they will and life dishes out experiences that are rich and vibrant and never in muted shades?Or maybe its like my dog proclaimed; that here is heaven on earth.
Well,if u consider heaven to be a place where God is having a rollicking old time throwing water balloons at angels which explode and end up as rain in Kerala!!!

P.S.That reminds me.When we were kids,mama and my aunts claimed that rains were when God was flushing his toilet.At the rate it has been raining here for the past one week,I’d have to say God must have been suffering from an acute case of diarrhea.

P.S.S.A post which was written around the time I came back from India but was not posted for some reason which I cant remember now....so might as well post it.

An angel in disguise !!!

For some reason I remembered and looked up this quote today.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

As I read this quote today,I stood swallowing a lump that had formed in my throat and blinked back the sudden moistness in my eyes.Remembered what the DH had said abt me being worried abt my teammates all the time in the last 2 months.And admitted to myself that I had been playing small.Just so that there wont be trouble.But it doesnt help.It really doesnt.Its time I stopped being small so that others dont feel insecure.If someone does that their problem ,not mine.Its strange how a kind gesture from someone can ease you up and take out the knots in which you seem to have tied yourself up.But then coming back to what brought it all out.

I stood staring at the envelope.Felt its thickness,looked at the neatly handprinted address which confirmed that it hadnt accidentally landed in my mailbox like my neighbour's hollywood tickets had once landed.I had looked up the apartment and returned them and the lady was so happy that she almost cried

I had walked down to check the mailbox.I opened it and insided was the usual jumble of advertisement leaflets from the nearest supermarkets.I pulled them out,shook them to make sure no important mails were hidden in their folds and threw them away.Was about to pull out the next lot of leaflets,when beneath a plain white envelope,a pink envelope lay quietly.Am worse than any kid where colored paper is concerned.If u ever decided to kidnap me,the best way to lure me to u wud be to tie a scrap of pretty paper on a thread and dangle it in front of me...I decided before I pulled out the envelope that if it had a proper name on it,then I wud let it be but if it turned out to be an advertising gimmick then am gonna use it for some craft.

Of all the things I expected to be written on the envelope,the last thing was my own name.It wasnt my birthday.And I stood staring at the handwritten address.I mean I dont remember the last time I got any mail with my address handwritten on it.I thot of Anup,and dismissed the idea as soon as it came.There was no way the DH cud have managed to write the address that neatly.Not a chance.Why would anyone send me a card?And on top of it who wud?Hastily dismissing the bitter thoughts that seem to be my constant companions these last few days,I tried to focus on the envelope.I tore open the envelope and then noticed the sender's address on the back of the envelope which said "Me".I didnt pay attention to the rest of the address cos I was so shocked to find a card and even more,a neat handwritten letter inside the envelope.I dropped the rest of my mail in confusion and mumbled thanks to the guy who kindly picked them up for me,slammed shut the mail box,and walked back to my apartment,the curiosity killing me.I opened the door,dropped my groceries,and sat down on my bed,pulled out the card,my creative side automatically noting the layout of the card,the script and the color combo.

And read the words on the front of the card in sheer disbelief.With the words swimming in front of my eyes,I opened the card.I have received several cards in my life so far,but none of them had ever expressed so cleanly,with such simplicity the friendship I share with a girl I havnt ever met.R.What can I say???Am dumbstruck,choked up and speechless and right now u can knock me down with a feather.As I read the card a second time,I laughed.I shud have guessed.The message on the card was so simply put and yet so beautifully expressed.Much like the mails I get from her.Feeling like a kid,I fumbled thru the pages of the letter and sat down to read.....chuckle....Her handwritten letters are no different from her mails...Crackling,words tumbling over themselves and so complete.Reading her mails always gave me a sense of satisfaction.

What can I say except that am grateful.And as I put down the letter after reading it thru for a second time,I thot gratefully of the day when a certain guy mailed me and though am not in touch with him,he introduced me to someone he described as a "a fine girl" and who according to me is a fantastic girl and an angel in disguise.You rock,woman!!!

Dear Bloggy

...Ages since I talked to u...or rather scribbled on u...But have been busy,u know.Been fighting a bloodless battle so that I can get back home..And all foes are slain or banished and I wear my battle scars with pride...By now ppl are so puzzled by my insistence that I wanna go back to India when they are giving me u-can-live-in-US-and-work-ur-fingers-to-the-bone chance,that I have stopped trying to explain why inspite of loving USA,I still love India a lil bit more...So these days when someone asks me "But why are u going back?" I reply "Oh,I just have this incredible craving for a bajji,u see".

Inspite of all the grumbling I do on a regular basis,I love my job and love being here.I do.I really really do...Though there are days and things that make me wanna pull out my hair,scream loudly,bare my teeth at the boss and screech in his ear.This is very tempting considering he sits right next to me and is one of my favorite fantasies when he insists on driving me up the wall.Imagining him fall off his chair in fright is even better and is a great stress buster.But then the one thing that really gets on my nerves and makes me extremely crabby is that oncall mobile fone.

The oncall support mobile fone is a black colored cellfone which the boss presented to us and is the one thing that really brings out the team spirit amongst the members of my team.Yes..all of us hate that fone with equal passion.I can literally feel my heart sink right down to the region of my knees when I hear it ring and am sure S and P hate it no less than I do.And at some point or the other all of us have contemplated the idea of throwing it as far as we can without dislocating an arm.But none of us has worked up the guts to do it.This phone has been given to us so that those miserable souls who insist on working the weekends and have no life whatsoever can contact us when they are in the mood to make our lives miserable.It is also for those blessed ppl, sitting on the other side of the globe,to contact us at an hr which wud be just noon for them but unfortunately for us is the dead of the night.

When its my turn to carry the oncall mob,am invariably woken up early on Saturday mornings.People just dont understand that Saturday mornings are sacred..Sometimes the calls are from ppl who need to get some work done and are rather apologetic abt it when they hear my sleepy tone.And maybe cos they are apologetic I rarely feel inclined to be cross with them.But then there are those unapologetic sadists who insist on calling people up at an unearthly hour on a saturday morning and are careless enuf to dial a number which is anything but the right number and to top it all,is my oncall phone number..Owing to the number of callers who insist on speaking spanish and cannot understand the simple words "wrong number",am somtimes left with no choice but to hang up on them. I have had a guy ring me up 3 times continuously to find out that he had the wrong number.The third time I hung up on him and the fourth time I didnt answer the call.Then we get calls from a number which plays an automated message telling us that our auto insurance is expiring and that we are to press 2 if we dont want to be called again.Am telling u I have tried pressing all the numbers from 1 to 9 and we still get calls from them.
But my favorite wud have to be the lady who woke me up at 6 in the morning and said "Lola?"
Now am rather used to lotsa ppl telling me "Hola" and even if I havnt picked up a lot of spanish I do know that Hola means Hello.So I assumed that she must have said "Hola" and politely said "Excuse me?".I was trying to make her realise that I needed her to speak English.She repeated "Lola" and even though I heard it as Lola,I thot she must be saying Hola...and repeated "Excuse me" a bit more loudly.But when she said "Lola/Hola" for the third time,I lost it.And crossly demanded "Do you speak English?"
Pat came the reply "Yes,I do"
Though I was taken aback for a second,I took a deep breath and said "Ok.Tell me".
And she asked "Can I speak to Lola?"
"No.You cant.But u can talk to Laloo.Just wait a minute while I get him out of the loo".
Ok...I didnt tell her that.So dont faint,mama.


to be continued!!!