Bear with me!!!

Good news first.Am still alive.And yes,that is good news.(Nods firmly)Its practically ages since I wrote a post.But honestly its not for lack of trying.I have on several occasions found myself staring at a blank screen with an equally blank brain,willing myself with my whole heart to write ….Ok ok…so lets say blank mind instead of brain since I can hear the protests all the way here. Won’t even let a person lay claim to a brain, and a fictitious one at that, will y’all? Ok…So finally I decided that I am suffering from a block…well,not necessarily a writer’s block since I really don’t fall into that category.But some kinda block and we are definitely not talking abt constipation here,ppl.So don’t dare suggest it.(U think somebody being constipated is funny?).Btw has anybody ever wondered why when ur intestine is blocked,u are said to be constipated but when ur nose is blocked,ur bathroom drain is blocked,or any other blockage for that matter is still referred to as a block?I mean why does a writer have to suffer from a writer’s block;why not writer’s constipation?So many crafters refer to suffering a creative block when they find their creative juices seem to have dried up but nobody calls it creative constipation. Why?Hmm…I think Amitabh Bacchan was right when he referred to English being a “pbhunny” language.I totally agree with u,AB.Btw totally off the topic,I think u are a lot like wine.U just got better as u aged.Really.I think I love u more now than I did 20 years back.U are absolutely gorgeous.Well…not as much as the man I married but then I guess u’ll have to live with that.

So today the whole point is abt getting around that block and the only way I can think of doing it is by writing or rather jabbering away abt a bunch of totally unrelated ,uninteresting things which keep flitting through my head at any given time. There is this other side effect to this block.I find myself unable to tap out mails to ppl….All those long mails that I used to tap out ..Poof!!!gone..Revs.Now u know why u seem to be getting no mails from me these days.Am constipated.Hopefully after this forced post,maybe things will take a turn for the better.
Anup and I celebrated our respective birthdays this year.Yeah.On 2 sides of the globe..and things were quite confusing with all the time difference.But Anup is working the night shift this week.Which means we have some real good fun mailing each other all through the day.Well,my day and his night. J In fact am writing now cos he has strictly told me that am supposed to write a post in the next one hr and send it to him.He insists on keeping the madness in me unleashed.Sigh.I’ll never make it to the sane squirrels club in this lifetime.

And so what have I been upto all this time?I read;I crocheted;I painted;And yeah,I forgot.I got myself a nice new roomie who practically lives upto the description “Girls are made up of sugar and spice and all things nice”….Yeah.I finally got over that man leaving me alone and going away though some side effects still last.Anyway,my new roomie is an amazingly nice kid who doesn’t mind cooking, minds her business, so far has not protested to me jabbering away at her endlessly, has adopted my obsession of endlessly smoothing the bedspread for her own to the extent that I have stopped smoothing the bed cos there’s nary a wrinkle on it at any given time and is obsessed with her cellfone.That’s one thing I cant figure out.She really really loves that object.In fact I think she wud be the greatest fan of the Bell guy. Alexander Graham Bell.But considering that she doesn’t mind having a roomie who is obsessed with wrinkle free beds, yarn, crochet hooks, beads, dolls, paints, colors and what not, I am not complaining. But honestly she is an adorably nice female and I wud be really sorry to see her go.In fact she looks like a nice round plump little gnome …And she totally understands why I craft.Oh bless her buttons and shiny boots!!!And u know what,she got me a cake and a gift for my birthday.Nice gal,na?

I simply can’t understand why ppl don’t like showing their teeth if they have ‘em. I mean if they are ur own and if u haven’t stolen them from anyone and they are an extremely nice looking set,then why not show them when u get a snap taken?After all someday when u don’t have them anymore,u can always look at the snaps and tell ur grandchildren nostalgically, “In those days we had good strong teeth.See mine here”. Now if u insist on taking every single snap keeping ur lips pursed together, then God forbid, someday ur grandchildren are gonna look at ur snaps and say “Oh, look,they didn’t have teeth even in those days”.Now u know why I insist on baring my teeth at any one who takes my snap.

I have started painting again…and managed to paint 2 pictures in the last ten days….The first one turned out to be quite Ugh..The second one so far seems ok but the more I look at it the less I like it….and when I told her this, my roomie asked me to stop staring at it so much cos she thinks its an awesome painting.See,I told u she is nice.
And am planning on learning tennis.Atleast I have found one unsuspecting guy who is willing to coach me.Since he doesn’t know what kinda dud I am,he is still quite enthusiastic abt it.

Btw did I mention its spring?Its the best part of the year as far as am concerned.Just walking to office in the morning is a treat…The flowers are out,the bees are buzzing,the sun shines,the wind blows,the grass cudnt be greener,the bare boughs are tinged with green,birds are chirping….Sigh….Reminds me of the saying.
God is in his heaven and all is right with the world.

P.S. As for my constipation,well,lets see if I can write another post.

A Valentine's day tale

On Valentine’s day I walked into the office to spend an evening with my boss and teammate surrounded by blazing lights, staring soulfully at a LCD monitor late into the night.I had bought myself a sandwich for dinner since it wud be late by the time I got home.The one thing that cheered me up was that my better half had sent me a beautiful bunch of flowers the previous night along with a love note.He had intended to have them delivered on Saturday morning but I reached home late on Friday night to find the long box outside my door.Anup was quite cross that they had been delivered early but I kinda understood that the delivery guy had tried to deliver it as close to Saturday as possible and to drive the point home,had stuck a dozen neon stickers on the box,proclaiming “Saturday” in bold black letters.I suppose the delivery guy thot that he cud brainwash me into believing it was Saturday.

Anyway I was munching on a sandwich when my teammate,Sai,walked in with a big bag and set it on my table.
Sai: Your dinner.
Me: (Surprised) What abt urs?”
Sai: I ate.I got that for u.My wife made Biriyani.
Me: But I bot a sandwich.
Sai: Never mind.Take it home and eat it when u want.
Me: Thanks ,Sai.

Silence.

Me: Sai? Anup sent me flowers.
Sai: Anup sent u flowers?How?He is in India ,right?

For a rather nice guy,sometimes Sai behaves like he has a cabbage for a brain.

Me: Sai!!!He ordered it over the internet.
Sai: Oh,he ordered it over the internet?ok.
Me: What did u do?
Sai: Praveena gave me a perfume.
Me: Ok.But what did u give Praveena?(Praveena is his wife)
Sai: (a bit desperately) Praveena gave me a perfume.
Me: Sai,what did u give her?

I had been reminding this guy every day for the past 2 weeks to get his wife something

Sai: You know what?Am going for a smoke.
Me: Sai!!!
Sai: We’ll talk abt it later.

Runs away.

Me: The rogue.

Sai comes back and we work some more.The boss walks in.

Boss: (looking at the sandwich bag and Sai’s bag on my table)You bot dinner?
Me: Well,I bot a sandwich and Sai also got me dinner.

Boss holds up his right hand with 2 sandwich bags in it.Apparently,the kind man had gotten himself and me sandwiches for dinner.

Me: Oh dear.
Boss: He he…

Silence.

Me: Krishna,Anup sent me flowers.
Boss: Wow!!He sent it by mail order?
Me: Yes.
Boss: What flowers?
Me: Tulips.30 tulips.
Boss: Wow.

Pause.

Boss: I also got a gift.My wife gave me a gift.
Me: What did you get?
Boss: ( puffs himself up with pride and quite sentimentally) I got one rose and a perfume.1 single rose.
Me: And what did you give in return?
Boss: Nothing.
Me: (Outraged)Nothing?Huh!!!Both u guys are complete nincompoops.Didnt give anything.Sai also didn’t
give Praveena anything.
Sai: I got a perfume.
Boss: I also got a perfume.
Sai: You also got a perfume?
Boss: I got a perfume and 1 rose.
Sai: I also got one rose.Just one
Boss: Yeah.What perfume did you get.
Sai: Curve
Boss: (frowning) I also got curve.
Me : (Gasping with laughter at their crestfallen expressions) : Oh,I just remembered your wives always go
out shopping together ,don’t they?They probably found a deal on Curve.Buy one ,get one free.
(falls off the chair)
Boss: (grumpily) Humph !!!
Sai: (looking outraged) Wait till I get home.

Valentine’s day.Spent at office.2 men got me dinner.Lots of laughter.And a warm fuzzy feeling inside at the thot of those flowers a lovely man sent me...Not bad.Not bad at all.

Today(For lack of a better title)

Last week,the climate was perfect and for no darned reason,I found myself waking up one nice bright morning with a sore throat.I immediately treated it with a salt water gargle.But in spite of the gargle,by midday I found myself feeling feverish and my voice disappeared rather rapidly leaving me resembling a gaping gold fish.The sniffles weren’t far behind and before I knew it ,the rhinovirus was threatening to wreak havoc on my sinuses and bronchial tubes.Hah!!But I wasn’t abt to give up so easily and bombarded it with horrible concoctions of garlic,ginger,pepper,mint leaves and lemon( and I must admit the witch’s brew has kinda grown on me) and a few scalding sessions of gargling with salt water.I diligently fed myself capsules of Vitamin C to keep the immune system up and buzzing.It took a good 3 days. I worked from home for 2 out of those 3 days in spite of the boss’s protests.(He had to make a choice between me working alone from home or me and the virus working together at office.)But the witch’s brew,it worked..And the rhinovirus was booted right out.And as a bonus I got in some good amount of crafting in the time which wud otherwise have been spent in office staring at the system waiting for some loser to send me some work.Advantages of working from home,u see.

Today I walked in the rain.Or lets put it this way.I got out of a nice hot bath to find that it had started raining and I was left with the dreary prospect of walking in the rain,reaching office all wet and cold and then having to spend a long day at office ending with sniffles and a fever.Considering I had just abt managed to chase away that rhinovirus which came around knocking last week ,I was in no mood for another bout.I dressed,pondered the idea of looking thru my suitcases to find that umbrella which am not sure if I left in India on my last trip there,gave it up as a waste of time and energy,pulled on a ski cap and a fleece jacket and walked out.I stood for a second at the threshold and wondered for an instant if I shud ring up the boss and ask to work from home.But then the thought of that nice-but-at times-tiresome man giving me that same monologue abt how the Directors of the company don’t like anyone to work from home was enuf to scrap the thot.Yeah. Right.As if any director is even gonna realize that poor me is missing from my seat.
But then as I stood looking at the miserable climate,there came a wicked thot…So I walk in the rain…So I fall sick….So I end up working from home…So the boss complains…So…maybe…just maybe they’ll send me back home…And I grinned gleefully as I trotted out into the rain,stood for 20 min under a dripping tree which started out as a dry spot but started getting wetter and wetter as I waited for the bus, trotted all the way to office and nodded happily at everyone who asked me “Got drenched?”.
And now here I am a good 5 hrs later.Dry as a bone.Not even the sniff of a sniffle…and the darned rhinovirus is nowhere to be seen when needed…God does have a sense of humour!
But truth be told,once I got over the worry of falling sick,I rather enjoyed the trot in rain. :-)

Broken toys

As children bring their broken toys, with tears, for me to mendI brought my broken dreams to God because he was my friend.
But then, instead of leaving Him in peace to work alone I hung around and tried to help . . . with ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back and cried, "How can You be so slow?""My child," He said. "What could I do? You never did let go."

Beautiful,isnt it?
I have a lot of broken toys right now...A dear dear friend in the hospital after an accident...a lovely lady mad at me....a dream which threatens to vanishwith a puff....and a tired spirit...I dont know how to fix them all ..But am tired...and I cant fix things anymore....I just want to sleep...Maybe I shud just let go.Like an old lady said "When you feel you cant go on anymore,you just let go and let the angel carry your troubles awhile.It will be ok".

A silver thread in a black cloud

Yday morning ,my mind already far ahead in office listing out the things I had to finish,I finished plaiting my hair and swung the plait to my back when suddenly a suspicious glint caught my eye.I pulled the plait to the front again and examined it with suspicious eyes…and there,right below my nose…it was…that silver hair nestled in midst of all that black.Sigh.My first instinct was to untie the plait,pluck the glinting strand off and do up my hair again but honestly if I was serious abt getting to office anytime before lunch I had to get a move on.
I am getting old.I mean there was a time when I wud surreptiously pluck out that single white strand which insisted on growing right at the top of my head,standing straight up and waving abt like a lone daisy in a field.Yeah!Some daisy.My first grey hair turned up at that same spot abt 2 yrs ago when I had just reached US and my mom promptly decided to go in for surgery,ended up in ICU and scared the living daylights out of me.I was 25 then.Only 25 and a grey hair right at the top of my head!!!Really...am telling u,its those naughty parents of mine.They like to give me a missed call at odd hrs once in a while just to have me hopping around in panic.Sometimes I think its their way of getting back at me cos I left them to go to the US.Though I dont see what they have to complain considering I fled the country to escape marriage and then fell in love and ultimately did get married.My parents keep telling me that am responsible for the several grey strands in their respective once black heads.But I bet I didn’t give them any until they were well past 35.That is a good age to start looking dignified.
I still remember the panic I felt when I found it sticking up there and carefully plucked it out.And then some days later it turned up there again…I must have plucked it out 2-3 times in the past 2 years.But this latest silver thread in the black cloud turned up in a new spot.And I’ll admit am fighting a losing battle.I’m resigned to possibility if having my 5 year old(if and when I have one) refuse to call me Mama and insist on calling me Grammy.Great…Well.As long as Anup doesn’t call me Anu Aunty when I reach India

Am not pregnant but....

Oooooooh!!!I have a secret…and am dying to tell u folks abt it..In fact am dying to scream it aloud from the tallest rooftop I can find or a tree if I can climb it without stopping every five minutes to clap my hands…but I cant cos I have sworn that I will keep it a secret for another 3 days…Oh dear dear dear lord..How am I gonna keep it inside without it leaking out….Now don’t get me wrong…am not one of those females who cant keep a secret even to save their lives…In fact am pretty good at keeping secrets but this one is such a happy one that I simply cant contain myself…I feel like I have drunk a bottle of bubble bath liquid and the bubbles keep threatening to come out of my nose and ears and mouth and am having a tuf time keeping it all in…..oooooooooh….am soooooo happy,ppl..but I just cant tell…am sworn to silence for the next 3 days…oh dear dear dear lord…I cud dance for joy…have been sitting for the last one hr grinning at the screen until my cheeks have started aching…and when I walk,I keep finding myself hopping and skipping for joy in spite of the poor knees..and when I went to the restroom and looked at the mirror…..ooooh….I cudnt help but grin at myself and clap my hands to let out some of the happiness that threatened to make me burst..and um…and then in walked the director of the client company..and um…there was an awkward silence…while she stood staring in the mirror at the reflection of a girl who was frozen in mid grin with hands clasped under her chin …um….but even that cudnt quench the bubbles…but then am babbling…But seriously ,ladies and gentlemen…lets break out the champagne and dance with abandon cos am the happiest woman on earth…..If u happen to see a squirrel staggering abt with a champagne bottle,trying to do a jig, do stop to say helloooo,Anu….Oh I wish I cud tell u…ok…just 3 days and then I shall spill the beanies…I promise…
Next bean on the list,its my first wedding anniversary…um…Anup’s too…he he..and we both are celebrating it in solitude sitting on opposite sides of the globe.I know…U can congratulate me and extend ur heartfelt condolences…And though I keep telling everyone that there will be more anniversaries,I must confess that the first one is rather special and comes just once in a lifetime..and am missing out on one of the once in a lifetime events…but really am so happy that it really doesn’t matter…Though I wish Anup was happier....But considering that we wont be together for the valentines day and our birthdays as well,its no wonder he isnt too happy…sigh..But that’s ok…the squirrel is still doing a tap dance and belting out “If u’r happy and u know it clap ur hands, if u’r happy and u know it and u really want to show it,if u’r happy and u know it clap ur hands…clap clap clap”.

Its strange how u want something very badly and then when suddenly u are faced with the probability that u may not get it but a loved one may,u wud rather that ur loved one got it than u.Ok..so u may have to read that twice.But really,it never ceases to amaze me how much more happier I am when someone I love gets that very thing which I wanted so badly… I wudnt be half as happy if I had got it myself…chuckle…crazy thing but I guess its one of life’s greatest blessings…Am blessed to have parents,a bro and a DH I wud give up the world for.Love u,ppl..U are the bestestest of the bunch.

Got lots of work..so got to go..and before I go,I have a feeling I ought to explain the title…Its just that every time a married woman says she has a secret or she is extremely happy or every time she is sick ,ppl jump to the conclusion that she is pregnant.And I most certainly am not.

Of runaway husbands,desolate squirrels and British accents

In order to forget that that tall looming figure I had got used to
seeing lurking around the house,who turned out to be
reassuring when I had doubts abt my creations or the better
of my crazy ideas and more so put up with me,ragged me,
teased me and drove me up the wall at times has really finally
left me.He has finally run away from me and fled the country...
swearing never to step foot on this land again..
Ok.So thats an exaggeration.He has gone back to India cos
his visa expired and I will be joining him....well..hopefully
sometime soon...which is God knows when...which is ..sigh...
I dont know what...However,he will be waiting for me in India
like Romeo waited for Juliet...um...actually I dont think he will
be hanging around like Romeo did...Really..I mean Romeo
honestly was quite jobless if u think abt it except to sing
ballads and serenade and kind of swagger around below
Juliet's balconey beating his chest.Really...What woman
wants a man who wanders abt beating his chest????....
Really..am sure Juliet wud have rather had him do
something worthwhile even as he loved her...u know what
I mean?But then am digressing from the topic and maybe
making Shakey spin in his grave..So lets leave that and
come back to my life.(Yeah..I know..But this happens to be
my blog and if I want to write abt my life I very much shall
including the minutest details of how I ...err...scratch my
back..and if u dont want to read it...well..trust me,u dont
know what u will be missing.Poor u)...

Anyway coming back to sending DH off,well,I managed
not to make an idiot of myself;read I did not cry before
or after his going,smiled rather bravely and sounded
quite normal...Now all I have to do is put up with another
day of every single soul asking me "Anup left?" when
they very well know he did,that he wud not have missed an
international flight to stay with me,that even if he wud have
he cudnt cos his visa had expired.But since all those
souls mean it kindly and really are showing their
concern for my sudden single status,it wud be mean of me
to snap at them and say "Nah,he is sitting right behind u".
Dontcha think?
Its really not as bad as I thot it wud be.Well..as long as
I dont dwell on it..Its just the first 4 days..U know.All I have
to do is to keep it all in,not think and keep distracting my thots
which honestly is quite irritating..I mean its like u are talking
to urself abt something and then u interrupt urself...if that made
any sense.I havent been able to do any crafting cos ..well..cos
my heart is just not in it..and u really cant put ur focus into ur
fingers if ,u know,u are subconsciously waiting for someone to
walk in the door.I keep finding myself thinking he will walk in
any minute and that I havent got dinner heated up...So I read
a book...and I was fine except that when I put down the book,
I was back to figuring out some new dinner recipe with the
ingredients on hand ,quite forgetting that my guinea pig is
no longer here..and really,its no fun cooking new stuff if u
dont have anyone to eat it up ..other than ur self...Well,I'll admit
it,shall I? Am walking around like a desolate squirrel that lost
its winter store of nuts...

Today morning I happened to be standing on the road gabbing
away with a friend in Tamil when an old gentleman passed us,
stopped,turned round and asked me "What language
are u speaking?".I replied without thinking "Thamizh"...
He said "What?"..and I provided the anglicized version."Tamil".
A wrinkled brow prompted me to try "T-A-M-I-L.Its an Indian
language".And then he got it."Taumil?".and asked "But its not
the only language in India,is it?" And I replied negative.
"How many languages do u have in India?"came the next
question.Honestly,dude,I wudnt know the answer in normal
circumstances but to ask me,a desolate squirrel at that,is
next to trying to make ice cream in an oven at 425 degrees.
Hopeless.The man must have sensed something of my
feelings cos he asked "South Africa has 294 languages.
Do u have that many?".He really was a nice old man and
so I again replied negative.And then he continued "But you
Indians speak such beautiful British English,not like ours...
U have such a beautiful British accent."and finished with
an eloquent gesture. At this point all readers are asked
to picture a squirrel gaping at an old man and saying "I do?"
And the old man tells the squirrel "Yes,u do have a beautiful
british accent."Now the squirrel says"Well,I didnt realise
that I had a British accent" and considers telling the old
man that it maybe cos India was once under the British Rule
and that must be where the accent came from but then even
a desolate squirrel with lost nuts must have some remnant
of brain function left,cos I didnt say anything.Mostly cos I
really cudnt think up a plausible explanation as to why I had
a British accent even though the British left before my mom
was born...Really...Unless I came up with something quite
creative like the lil guy in Slumdog Millionaire did..
That Shah Jahan built Taj Mahal in the memory of his wife
Mumtaz who died in a car accident.